The Fake Titty Epidemic


Nicole is pissed again.... When is she not pissed.... This time she is pissed because one of the other girls at the club, Lori, nailed a whale who had been coming in and Nicole felt she had a good shot at getting him, but didn't. Ray is some hotshit hotshot attorney in his 50's with big bucks. He sent Lori roses at the club. I asked Nicole, why would he go for Lori and not you.... Nicole said TITS! Big fake ones, scary grapefruits, silicone sacs, bolt-ons! Nicole refuses to succomb to Miami's fake titty epidemic.

Nota bene: A friend pointed out there is another reason why the whale most likely went to Lori. Lori is 22 playing 21 and Nicole is 27 playing 23 forever. 23 gets harder to pull off every year that passes.

Idiota

Nicole has slave idiot on a roll. They went to the Hard Rock and she spent his $$$ to gamble, she hit the blackjack table and the roulette wheel. Pssst, her lucky numbers are 6 and 31. And she swears by "always bet on black". Don't we all? She finished $300 ahead. Idiot went into the hole haha. Then he went into the hole even more because he had to take Nicole shopping. She bought a new pair of tight ass jeans and made slave idiot sniff her ass thru the jeans. She made him buy all of her girlfriends XXXmas presents, namely lingerie and sex toys. Nicole said a crystal dildo with a g-spot curve is cumming my way. Nicole always ruins XXXmas surprises. Since my g-spot is still humming from the Restylane, this toy should be alot of fun. And she wasn't done with idiot. She made him buy her a new pair of earrings, expensive. And a few splurges for her puppy Jetsam. Cha-ching! idiot's ATM and Amex took another big hit.

XXXmas

My family is a little bizarre about their choice of XXXmas entertainment. Instead of watching A Christmas Story or claymation Rudolph, we watch Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, true Christmas Classics! As far as the latter, this is because my Mom has a crush on vintage Mel Gibson, not the grizzled crazy drunk he has become. I'm not sure why we watch Die Hard, except my Mom is entrenched in the 80's, her heyday, back when she was my age, and yes, kinda hot. So let me make your mouth water....not about my Mom perv! About my Mom's cooking:

Menu:

Roast Pork seasoned with Rosemary <---Mom
Potatoes au Gratin <--- Mom
Fresh Green Beans <---- Sara
Cole Slaw <---- Sara
Rolls <---- Sara
Vino <--- Mom
Pecan Pie <--- Mom
Topped with Haagen Dazs French Vanilla Ice Cream <--- Sara
Leftovers <--- Sara and Sara's kitties (they even eat cole slaw and green beans!!!)

Idiotic

slave idiot took Nicole shopping this afternoon. I was unable to go on this shopping spree as I had a lunch date. Don't choke, it was with a dyke, one of my ex-prof's from school. Then I had to meet with my bosslady after lunch plus do some XXXmas shopping for my family and friends. I know most of you are wondering if the dyke hit on me, she was solicitous, but totally professional. It was more of a business-y lunch, nevertheless, I'm sure she wondered what it would be like if I sat on her face for dessert.

That bitch Nicole raked it. Damn. I don't even have a spendy XXXmas slave, I have a Jewish scrooge whose shrew wife has him by the pubes for their holidays and parties and spending time with his sons who are on winter break from med school.

Poor Jesse (and the adjective is very appropriate) wants to meet up with me later tonite. I think he wants to play hide the large penis in one of Sara's hiding places. Not that I don't like playing the game, but I'm "in a mood" as my Mom used to call it. And I think I'll take it out on Jesse! Poor Jesse doesn't know what he's in for....

Point & Click!

Check me out on MyFlirtStore! I have 4 pages of kinky assignments, naughty stories & picture galleries! Click now!

fatfucked


fatfuck was in for a surprise at his biweekly ball-beating as I hollywood dry fucked Jesse right in front of him. I had texted fatfuck earlier in the week:

tis the season 2b generous fucking kike (he loves jew-miliation)

dont scrooge me @ Xmas jewboy bring mo $$

Jesse, alas poor Jesse. He was having a 'hard' time maintaining his erection. The pressure was on for him to perform and fatfuck was the literal elephant in the room. Boner killer. Dick deflater. I finally had to fluff Jesse then climb on top and ride a softie and scream and bounce and shake the bed and fake my orgasm while orchestrating Jesse's faux "O". You're cumming right, right? Yes? Yes! Ohhhhh aahhhh yessss cummmmm. I heard the elephant heave and ho. The circus fucking event was thankfully over.

Jesse was then like: I um have to go and ummmm ok bye.... Bye babe, I said, practically roflmao (inside joke). I then kicked out fatfuck and took a shower. $1,000 clams = my new laptop.

The Price of Pussy

In our convo, Nicole also wanted to know what was going on with Jesse as she knew I was to meet up with his ass after shopping with the idiot. Nicole had to workee at the club. But I was free for a bit before popping onto Niteflirt. Jesse had insisted by all media, i.e., email, text and voicemail that he had broken up with the girlfriend. While I'm sure he was recycling all of his ex-pussies, and I was just one of the slits* he was pursuing, he was the best fuck I'd ever had. He also had the perfect cock.

*typo, I meant to write sluts, but slits is actually pretty slutty!

So in a moment of Mojito-induced weakness, I had texted Jesse while Nicole was checking out luggage and he responded and we set up a meeting time 'n' place. I only kiss guys when I'm drinking, preferably drunk, so I actually kissed him when I met up with him at the hotel bar. He bought me another Mojito, uh oh. I knew he was trying to get into my panties, but he needed to do more work than buy me a drink to earn back pussy privileges.

I told Jesse he would have to fuck me in front of fatfuck and I would keep all of fatfuck's cash. No cut for Jesse. Jesse had backed out of this fucking arrangement before, like a year ago, necessitating that I bring in Arion for the fucking and then Arion couldn't even cum, he faked it, because having the fatfuck walrus stare at us fucking was too much pressure. I later joked to Arion that cock size aside, he would not have made a good porn star.

So Jesse agreed and I texted fatfuck in front of Jesse, so Jesse would realize I wasn't fucking around. Fatfuck was probably out to dinner with wifey on Friday nite, I could just picture him reading and responding to my text in front of the shrew. He probably popped a little vienna sausagette in his pants. So we are fucking on for this Wednesday.

And as far as the Price of Pussy, Pussy can set her Price....

Strange Dance


Nicole just called, funny how I must have summoned pure evil when I posted about her just a few minutes ago.

Nicole: Do you think we will burn out idiot again? Are we going too much too fast?

Me: Hell no, we have to get as much as possible from him before he gets his credit card statement or realizes how much he's spent and runs away again to lick his wounds. It happens all the time on Niteflirt. The money piggy slaves come running back when they want to play again. It's a strange dance.

Nicole: Yeah, it happens at the club too. It's like they're manic.

Me: I don't think they're manic depressives chemically, but they follow that curve. Mania followed by deep depression. Desire and regret. So while they're manic, we need to suck 'em dry.

Nicole: I left a message for idiot to call me. Let's see what we can suck out of him next.

Leather Crazed!

Nicole and I met the idiot Friday evening for drinks and mayhem. Idiot was sweating, because he knew this would not be cheap. Nicole asked why he was such a pussyboy before. Idiot admitted that strong women scared him. He claimed he would date submissive women, women who admired his physique (guffaw, maybe years ago, when idiot was a weightlifting type). But he had always been attracted to physically strong or bitchy women. But he said he clashed with them. Which is hard to believe because idiot, while a narcissist, is a real pussy.

So we all had some Mojitos and then Nicole kicked idiot in the balls as he was getting out of his SUV, he knew this was coming, so he kind of crouched in dread. Oh man, oh man, that hurt, that hurt, but I guess I deserve it, idiot whined. You KNOW you deserve it, Nicole clarified.

Idiot took us shopping. Nicole bought new luggage, a whole set! And I got a new handbag. Nicole was plotting. Now she wants to make idiot pay for her to take a little vacay, sans idiot, altho idiot is begging to go wherever Nicole goes, like a little puppydog. Idiot's Amex took about a $1,200 hit between drinks, luggage, handbag. I love the smell of new leather. I need a leather slave to get me new shoes and handbags and belts and leather jackets and whips and skirt and.... I could go on but will stop myself before I get too leather crazed.

Slave Idiot is Back!

What a glutton for punishment. Nicole and I scared his fat ass away before. We told him he will pay for running for the exit sign last time. We are meeting with the idiot Friday early evening-ish to punish his soul and also his wallet. I think for idiot, having 2 pretty dominant girls (lack of punctuational pun intended) suck some goods out of his Amex is worth the price to mitigate the shittiness of his existence. We'll see how much idiot drop$ on us. This should be fun. I'm feeling 'spendy'.

Read up about the idiot by clicking on the idiot.

fatfuckery

I saw fatfuck for a session of ballkickery and cocksuckery the day before Thanksgiving. fatfuck was in a pissy mood as he hates holidays, any holidays. I fed him a big fat 8" juicy drumstick courtesy of my bi work buddy Adam. Then I made fatfuck give me extra $ for black friday XXXmas shopping. He peeled out a few extra hundred then I kicked him in the balls, because he didn't seem happy to give me the shopping $$$. Since there is no way I will go out shopping on black friday, I shopped online and ordered a GPS, a few new pairs of earrings, make-up from MAC cosmetics and some clothes from Urban Outfitters. It was just another fatfuck Wednesday: walking on him like a rug, spitting on his fugly walrus-ian face, yelling at him in faux Yiddish, stomping on his peenie and balls as if they were turkey gizzards.

Hell hath no fury....

Jesse has re-entered the picture. The Big Cock Picture. He apparently broke up with his twat-piece and is now sniffing about for pussy. Nicole doubts he has really broken up with twat, because she claims, men often line up the pussy before they do the break-up thing. Once the pussy is lined up, they bounce. Nicole said: "You aren't going to fuck him are you??? Are you???" "Don't take his ass back", said Taylor. Ember was like, "Well he is hottt!".

Truth is I really would like to have a larger bullpen for when I need the dick. But I don't think I should make it so easy for him to have my pussy again. I plan to cuckold him. Use him. Since he doesn't have anything going on financially, he only runs a landscape crew, I can't financially abuse him. But there might be other things.... Trouble is, he's not submissive. But I am manipulative and conniving enough to make him pay for taking me out of rotation earlier this year when he started 'dating' twat.

MyFlirtStore

Being an elite Niteflirt bitch, I have been chosen to sell my wares on the site MyFlirtStore. I plan to have all of my PTV assignments, picture packs and other goodies up shortly, and shortly in Florida time, is about a month or so.... But I have a few choice gay PTV assignments up already, so get your click on!

Definately Dominate!*

an interesting missive from one of my devotees....

Obviously, you understand these matters far more clearly than I, given your vantage point. Some of what you say is apparent to me, of course. That most "submissive" men are so in relation only to an ongoing masturbatory fantasy is clear, and that the submissiveness is ephemeral and vanishes with the orgasm is shown by the number who bounce from woman to woman on NF ostensibly looking for that woman who is the paradigm of the "definately dominate"* Mistress, "submitting" to each but submitting to none. (I share your grammatical pain while reading listings).

It does come as a surprise to me that you find so few authentically submissive men in real time, those addressing a long standing need rather than a fantasy. In fact, it makes me feel a little lonesome. Easier to deal with the thing if one doesn't feel so unusual, I guess.

I can well imagine that NF is good to you. A gold coin in a box full of other gold coins isn't especially noticeable, but if the box is full of pennies and lead slugs, it is stands out unmistakably. Your intelligence and sophistication stand out in pretty high relief in that venue. Thanks again for the gift of your time and attention. I'm envious of subs in Miami ;->

backstory: my devotee found a listing on Niteflirt where the Mistress stated she was "definately dominate"....as many of you know I have a major pet peeve about the usage of dominant vs. dominate!

A slave josephine Sighting

Nicole spotted slave josephine in the condo parking lot with his nerdette girlfriend. Nicole almost spontaneously combusted. slave josephine dumped Goddess Nicole after 2 years of servitude to date a nerdy girl who is about 15 years younger than the slaveboy. Nicole said nerdgirl was no competition for her fierce beauty, but I reminded Nicole, it obviously wasn't beauty the nerd slaveboy craved. I still can't believe he left me! she cried.


Life post-slaveboy.... Nicole has no one to clean her condo or do her laundry or her errands. Goddess forbid, she must do these things herself until she finds another hapless slave. Why is it so hard to find a slave, she moans. It's not only hard to find one, it's harder to keep one, I think to myself.... Slaves are fickle these days, loyalty is out of fashion. You want loyalty, get a dog! Which is what Nicole did, she adopted a little Shitzoo (shihtzu I know how to spell it), but in this case, shit-zoo is more appropriate.

Read Comments (click below), here is my response: Nicole truthfully doesn't try that hard to recruit slaves. When you're beautiful, you think men should just fall at your feet and scurry about to please you. And if per chance, you trap a slaveboy, your attitude? That you don't have to do much to keep him enthralled. I suffer from this same fault. But Nicole and I don't live in Missoula, we live in Miami, where we are not the rarity, we are the majority. There are throngs of beautiful girls down here tripping over each other to get to the whales (the fat wallets), the BWM's (betas with money). Nicole will probably be pissed that I declared: "doesn't try hard". And she will probably not talk to me or text me for a few days.... Oh well, I must be prepared for the dreaded "silent treatment"!

donde estan las turistas?
Miami on the Cheap

The economy in SoFlo is ultra-dependent on the tourism and travel trade. When that slips, which it does in the low season (hurricane season), but even more so due to the economy, everyone suffers. Nicole has been bitching about lack of action at the club, and lack of tips. There is a notable lack of action at all the clubs, though bars seem busy. Perhaps clubs need to rethink their strategy: pricey door charges, pricey bottles of vodka, pricey drinks are probably driving people to drink. Elsewhere.


donde estan los ricos?
Still, when articles like Miami on a Budget come out, it makes me cringe! Miami needs a major injection of tourists now. But it needs tourists who will spend, not scrimp.

Miami has allure: the beaches, the clubs, the restaurants, but it doesn't have the lure. The lure of the roulette wheel, the craps table, the slots. Miami lacks what Vegas has in spades, literally. There is only one major casino in SoFlo. Vegas casinos are suffering, but the sin city casino hotels are comping rooms and meals to get the warmbodies into the casinos. So the Vegas casino revenues are only off by 7% in the latest article I read. But Miami tourism and travel revenues have plummeted even further.

VACATIONING IN MIAMI ON A BUDGET

MIAMI - It might be notorious for its late-night party scene, swanky beach hotels with steeply priced drinks and the beachgoers who wear barely-there $300 swimsuits, but vacationing Miami-style doesn't have to cost a fortune.

From $3 beers to staying at a hostel for $34 a night to $7 bike rides along the Florida Everglades, visitors looking for deals have lots of options in the area.

LODGING: If you're adventurous and on a tight budget, consider staying in a hostel. Rooms can house anywhere between three and 14 travelers, sleeping on bunk beds, from $18 a night per person to about $40, depending on season and room size. Hostels in Miami Beach include Tropics Hotel & Hostel, 1550 Collins Ave., http://www.tropicshotel.com, Jazz on South Beach Hostel, 321 Collins Ave., http://www.jazzhostels.com/ and South Beach Hostel, 235 Washington Ave., http://www.thesouthbeachhostel.com.

MIAMI BEACH: The Lincoln Road pedestrian mall is perfect for strolls and people-watching. You'll find dozens of restaurants and shops, along with locals walking dogs or weaving through the crowds on roller blades.

At 625 Lincoln Road is a hidden gem popular with the locals. Snuggled between two stores is the narrow, tiny bar called Zeke's Roadhouse, which boasts over 80 bottled beers and drafts from around the world — each just $3. No hard alcohol is sold here, and no outside food or drinks are allowed on the premises. Keep your ID handy since bartenders check it with each purchase. No ID, no beer.

If you prefer to spend your time on the sand, the beach is walking distance (and free, unless you rent the pricey beach chairs). On your stroll, check out the Art Deco architecture and ritzy hotels. Or snap some pictures at the Casa Casuarina mansion where fashion designer Gianni Versace once lived, now a luxury hotel and private club at 1116 Ocean Drive.

A drink at a trendy hotel bar on the beach — the Delano, Setai, Shore Club, Gansevoort — can cost up to $15, but you might just run into a celebrity. Owen Wilson was spotted at the Delano while filming "Marley & Me" with Jennifer Aniston. She reportedly spent time at the Mandarin Oriental.

Many restaurants in South Beach and other touristy areas automatically add a tip (usually 15-18 percent) to the bill.

ART: The Miami Art Museum — 101 W. Flagler St., http://www.miamiartmuseum.org/ — has a unique collection of different cultural traditions of South Florida. Adults pay $8, seniors $4, free for children under 12 and students with ID; free to all on the second Saturday of each month. Also on second Saturdays, local galleries and studios in the Wynwood Art District offer free wine (or beer) on a gallery walk, 7-10 p.m. The Wynwood galleries are open other days as well.

A short cab ride away, in the heart of Miami about a mile from downtown, is Vizcaya Museum & Gardens — 3251 S. Miami Ave., http://www.vizcayamuseum.com/ — built by agricultural industrialist James Deering in 1916. The landmark property includes a main house filled with treasures from around the world, a walkway lined with fountains and foliage, 10 acres of formal gardens and a hardwood hammock overlooking Biscayne Bay. Admission for adults is $12; children 6-12, $5; ages 5 and younger free.

Not far, in the Miami suburb of Coral Gables, is the Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden — 10901 Old Cutler Road, http://www.fairchildgarden.org/ — with an extensive collection of rare tropical plants. Stop by its verandah restaurant or garden cafe, or spend the afternoon drinking tea here. Adults pay $20; seniors $15; children 6-17, $10. Admission is pay as you wish on the first Wednesday of each month (next two, Nov. 5 and Dec. 3).

ENTERTAINMENT AND FOOD: Transit Lounge in the downtown area — 729 SW First Ave., http://www.transitlounge.us — hosts several local bands during the week that play Latin and funk music. A drink is around $6; open late (5 a.m.). If you get tired of dancing, sit along the walls adorned with paintings done by local artists and play that favorite game from childhood, Connect Four.

Calle Ocho, or Eighth Street, hosts Viernes Culturales or Cultural Fridays the last Friday of every month. The art and street festival spans four blocks lined with more than a dozen galleries, restaurants blasting Latin music and cigar shops — some offering free drinks and appetizers. Stages are set up for live music. Organizers say the Latin festival attracts over 10,000 people to the heart of Little Havana. Dancing and cigar smoking is encouraged.

While on Calle Ocho, don't miss the Cuban food and coffee at Little Havana's famed Versailles Restaurant, 3555 SW Eighth St., a required stop for vote-seeking politicians — including, most recently, Republican presidential contenders Rudy Giuliani and Mike Huckabee.

NATURE: The best way to see South Florida's alligator-infested waters is riding an airboat through the Everglades. Everglades Alligator Farm is about 35 miles south of Miami in Homestead, http://www.everglades.com, while Everglades Safari Park is about 15 miles west on the Tamiami Trail, http://www.evsafaripark.com/. Both places offer a chance to experience Florida's river of grass up close. You can even take a picture holding a baby alligator or watch an alligator show. The adventure, airboat and all, costs about $23 for adults, $15 or less for children. Both Web sites offer printable discount coupons.

Also in Homestead, Shark Valley Tram Tours — http://www.sharkvalleytramtours.com/ — rents bikes for $6.50 an hour. A 15-mile nature trail through the northern region of Everglades National Park takes two to three hours. If you'd rather rest your feet, a two-hour guided tram ride with wildlife viewing and a stop at the Shark Valley observation tower for a panoramic view of the Everglades costs $15.25 ($9.25 for ages 3-12). (Access to Shark Valley was limited in early October due to flooding, with tram tours suspended and bike routes limited, so check on conditions before you plan a trip there.)

The fee for car entry to Everglades National Park is $10, good for seven consecutive days, or $5 per person on foot, bike or motorcycle; http://www.nps.gov/ever/.

TRANSPORTATION: Miami lacks comprehensive public transportation, but there are economical ways to get around. You can't miss the big blue Super Shuttle vans from the airport to the beach and Miami hotels, $20 plus tip. The Tri-Rail is a convenient, affordable way to navigate the region, with stops including area airports, Fort Lauderdale, Delray Beach, Boca Raton and West Palm Beach. One-way fares are $2-$5.50, all-day $4 weekend fare.

Taxis are widely available if you prefer not to rent a car. A ride from the airport to the beach can cost about $30-35.

Desperate for Chicks!

It's really really bad when you're in a band and you have no chicks hanging with you, no quasi-girlfriends, no groupies, no sluts, no 420 girls, no hottie sisters to pass off as hotties not related to you. It's so really really bad that you have to do up a massive Myspace spam campaign to hopefully gather a few chicks for your music video....

....or....

There's no real music video being taped, it's your dorko film class friend with a digital camcorder, and you're just trying desperately to meet hot chicks.

Message:

WE ARE ********** N YOU CAN FIND US HERE ON MYSPACE,
WE'RE MAKING A SERIES OF MUSIC VIDEOS FOR OUR RECENTLY
RELEASED DEBUT CD. PLEASE CHECK US OUT N LET US KNOW
IF YOU'D LIKE TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO. GIRLS ONLY N BE
HOT ENUF TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO. LIKE. PLEASE CONTACT US SOON AS POSSIBLE WE ARE SHOOTING THE FIRST VIDEO THIS SATURDAY OR SUNDAY, N PLEASE SEND PHOTOS IF YOUR PHOTOS ARE SET TO PRIVATE. THANKS N SPANKS!!!

Another Pet Peeve



When the trailer for the movie is better than the movie.... How many times have you seen a really exciting trailer, but then when you saw the actual movie, epic disappointment! Duped by the trailer! What else can you do when you know you've been duped, but hope there is some gratuitous hot sex or an adrenaline junkie car chase or some explosions to make it worth your 10 bucks.

My New Pet Peeve


As most of you know I have a pet peeve about people misusing the word 'dominate' vs. 'dominant'. Example: I am looking for a 'dominate' bitch to control me.... Well. I have a new pet peeve. Betaboys who use the word cuckhold or cockhold vs. cuckold. I can appreciate that they want to serve as a cuck, that they recognize their place in this world. But they need to learn the correct term! C-u-c-k-o-l-d! The history of the term and concept is based on Cuckoo Bird betas raising the young of the Alphas while the Females continued to mate with the Alphas. Cuckoldry exists in nature, in many species, including ours. Get used to it!

G Shots !

Nicki is going to take a pass on her G-shot*, since she just started Nurse Practitioner classes (kinda like med school), she doesn't want to be hot-n-horny and distracted from her mission in life. So Nicole and I will be seeing fatfuck this week for our G-spot injections. Turbo pussy, as I call it, is an amazing ride. Now my mission is to line up some turbo action!

*fatfuck offered me a free g-shot as my graduation gift and a free shot for Nicki which I'm transferring to Nicole!

Flakes

Dr. Kickballs, Nicki's slave, evaporated within 2 weeks. He couldn't reconcile that he had submissive yearnings with I-am-god-like uber-powers as an ER doctor. Couple that evaporation along with slave josephine leaving Nicole after years of servitude!!!

Nicole had a good cry into her beer amped by several shots of Cuervo. Honestly, I don't think Nicole managed her slave properly. Part of slave ownership is retention, making sure you give your slave enough 'attaboys' or rewards. The fault of Nicole, and my fault as well in prior M\s relationships, is that we feel our beauty and superiority is enough to keep a slave bound to us, like a moth to the light. We are stunned when the moth takes flight and leaves us. We can't believe it was anything we did or didn't do, because, we default to our beauty and superiority.

slave josephine goes AWOL

Nicole is totally pissed at slave josephine. Apparently, this summer, unbeknownst to Nicole, slave josephine started dating someone at work. Josephine has a betaboy newspaper job, editing, proofreading or lay-out or something. Josephine hadn't dated anyone in years, and for the last 2 years has been in servitude to Nicole, but a summer intern nerdgirl started flirting with him and one thing led to another, and they starting going out. This is what josephine tearfully confessed to Nicole by cell phone and begged to be released as a slave to he could fulfill his destiny as a real man HARHARHAR a real man? Good luck with that josephine. Of course Nicole said NO, then slave josephine hung up on her.

Hell hath no fury like a Mistress scorned, Nicole is ready to break out her flamethrower. Who will do all her errands, clean her apartment, handwash her panties, handwash her Mustang, etc etc. Slaves never last, they burn out or they become delusional that they aren't submissive. Summer intern nerdgirl is back at school here in SoFlo and will see cuter younger nerdboys on campus and leave her summer crush behind. Then josephine will come crawling back....

Wherefore art thou Stinkbob?

My most renowned, craziest 1-minute Niteflirt caller, slave Stinkbob, has gone disparu. I have emailed him numeroso times, I even confess I sent him a free minute to entice him to call me, but alas not even a peep from the Stinkbob. While I hope something terrible hasn't happened to him, I fear it has, and this is due to his old age and feeble health. And my detective skills tell me that his loyalty to me over the years means I don't think he's cheating on me with another Niteflirt Mistress. And his compulsion to send me emails about the stupidest things, well, his emails have dried up. Perhaps his phone service was shut off? said Taylor. Or perhaps, as my friend Sam suggested, he did go gay and no longer needs me. Well Stinkbob, maybe you went to the big gloryhole in the sky, if so, I bid you adios and faretheewell. And for those of you unacquainted with Stinkbob, click on the Stinkbob label for this post below to read about him and see the hideoso picture he sent me!

StormDar

I missed my rendez-vous with my main slave this past week due to Hurricane Fay, even though Fay was kinder to SoFlo than NorFlor. And something tells me, perhaps it's my StormDar, that this isn't the last hurricane we shall see this season.

Bushwhacked

Pray that Bush breaks out his chewed up Bic Pen from his pencil protector pocket and signs this damn thing! My occupation and my sister's soon-to-be are highlighted.


August 11, 2008
Buried in Vast Higher-Education Bill Is Another Expansion of Loan Forgiveness

Washington — A little less than a year after it passed legislation to provide Stafford loan forgiveness to public servants, Congress has voted to expand the benefit for public-interest lawyers, early-childhood educators, and several other categories of borrowers.

The new programs, which are buried in a huge bill to renew the Higher Education Act (HR 4137) that awaits President Bush's signature, would provide loan forgiveness to borrowers who commit to working in a high-need, low-paying field for at least three years.

Public defenders and state and local prosecutors would enjoy the most forgiveness: up to $10,000 a year or $60,000 total. Civil legal-assistance lawyers would get slightly less: up to $6,000 a year, or $40,000 total.

Borrowers employed in several other "high need" occupations would get up to $2,000 a year, or $10,000 total. Among them are early-childhood educators, nurses, nurse practitioners, foreign-language specialists, librarians, child-welfare workers, speech-language pathologists and audiologists, school counselors, certain public-sector employees, nutrition professionals, medical specialists, mental-health professionals, dentists, physical therapists, and occupational therapists. Also covered are employees in science, technology, engineering, or mathematics; superintendents, principals, and other school administrators; and "highly qualified" teachers serving low-income or underrepresented students, or those with limited English proficiency.

Last year Congress forgave the remaining debt of borrowers who spend 10 years working for a government or tax-exempt organization and make monthly payments on their loans. In the new bill, lawmakers clarified that members of Congress are ineligible for the program.

Loan-forgiveness programs are designed to help employers recruit and retain employees in shortage areas.

Dikdiks

Ever since I started using this term, it has taken over the lexicon of my friends and my sister, et al. I'm sure the term will soon spread beyond the Floridian peninsula and take over the world! Dikdiks are small African antelopes hunted by lions. They run in herds, their only protection.

What a dikdik! Check out that dikdik! I have a new dikdik! We use it to indicate a subby male, wimp, loser, lil dickie boy, slave. And especially one that is hunted down and caught by the aggressive alpha female lionesses. Easy prey after a lil chase (lick chops).
Nicki has wondered why I haven't been hunting dikdiks at my dayjob. But, I rarely have interaction or even see the doctor dikdiks. And the doctors I do see are the young residents or interns who probably have no bank. In the age of managed care, doctors don't make what they used to back in the heyday of free-billing, unless they are plastic surgeons, heart surgeons, brain surgeons or fertility specialists (latter take almost 100% cash payments only and charge huge fees of at least $20K per couple). I'm lucky to already have fatfuck, tho one couldn't call ff a dikdik, call him a hippo!

Dr. Kickballs

Nicki, my mentor, at long last, returns to kicking balls. She is on the outs with her bf who had previously and unilaterally enforced his NO PUSSYBOY SLAVES rule. "I'm all the man you need." Yeah yeah every girl has heard that before (snore). So she is taking on a session slave. Since she plies the nursing trade, her hunting ground is the hospital, she has captured a squirmy lil dikdik who I will call Dr. Kickballs. Dr. Kickballs is a jewish physician in his early 40's, not overweight like fatfuck, but married, marriage running on inertia. Still he confessed he could not cheat on his wife, since it would cause him too much guilt, yeah right, it might cost him too much $ if she found out and divorced his ass. He masturbates to kinky fantasies, it takes a lot of kinky stuff in his head, he confessed to Nicki, to get him off. He thinks it will be alot of fun to actually do it, and get off to it. At $500 a session, Nicki is happy to oblige. She is going back to school to become a nurse practitioner and has to cut back her work schedule to do the school thing. So having a session slave is perfect. $500 for a few hours is like a 12 hour nursing shift, except no taxes taken out of the pay. She's also trying to hunt and cull one more dikdik out of the herd. I'll post the details as soon as I have the hunting report from Nicki.

Busted?

Well, the new potential slave has scurried away. Conclusion? He was likely married / in a relationship and was only looking to explore playtime or sex on the side. Did he get busted? Was I too extreme for him? So I'm baiting the hook again. Why can't I fish out more toads or fatfucks!?!

Lei Away

Fatfuck didn't bring me back anything from Hawaii, I am so pissed. He said the wife was always with him, so he couldn't bla bla bla buy his Mistress anything, couldn't even send a bla bla post card. I smacked his face! I told him a shopping spree would be necessary to make amends for his lack of balls. He did not even flinch as he knew I was fuming. Fatfuck is too busy doing injecting botox and lip plumping to shop with me. But he knows the stores I will shop, then put my acquisitions on 'layaway'. Fatfuck will waddle over and pay and I pick up the next day. I'm sure the girls who work at these fine stores know the deal. But wait, I hope they don't think I'm fucking the tub-o-lard to acquire such finery! I need to tell them my slave will be paying!

Red White and Blue Balls

Unfortunately, fatfuck is away with wifey this week, they went to Hawaii. So if you read about two white whales washed up on the beach in Maui, it's the fatfucks. All I can say is he better bring me back something from this trip and it better not be nasty plastic leis or a fatass mumu dress. He better bring back something expensive.



My sister and her lameass (but wellhung) fiance are having a BBQ on the 4th. My Mother wanted me to drive up with her to Whorelando so we can eat some burnt cowflesh and other vittles. But it looks like the club will be busy so I'm on standby for Friday nite at least that's what I told my Mother. She said: What? You're not a stewardess.... Good point, but I don't think I can spend 6 - 7 hours in the car (up and back) with my maternal unit. I love her but I can only take her in doses, smaller doses. And I wanted to, but didn't point out to my Mother that stewardess is not a word in use any longer.

Inotherslavenews, I had drinks then dinner with the new potential slave, an interview. He's hired haha. But he was leaving right away to travel overseas for biz, so we didn't get to play, but he promised on his return, I could do what I want with him. I'm not sure yet what I will do to him, but it will probably involve ballkicking.

Let Freedom Sting!

Well I finally netted a wee fish to meet for a drinkee to see if I can enslave his ass. He is divorced and wants to experiment. He's seen alot of things on the internet and is curious about them. He says vanilla isn't for him any more. I don't know if he's quite ready for my flavor, but he claims he's open to trying anything once, if it's too painful, he wants 'the freedom' to tell me it's not for him. Slave asking for freedom? I'm not Sara Lincoln.

Bloggery to Bindery



After posting about how I should be blogging for dollars, I was inundated by friends and admirers who suggested I parlay my keyboard tapping into something even more profitable than blogging for $. I should write a book. A book? A book!

Should I write it in a cafe on my laptop like J. K. Rowling, the Potter-y bitch who's richer than the Queen of Merry Olde? I see plenty of writers in cafes, blogging, I try not to play blogging scenester and avoid the obvious display of feathers. Besides I might blow a few of the laptoppers' gaskets if they read my blogs.

Some bloggers blog for the sake of blogging, some for money and others to get bigger writing gigs or book deals. I can reveal the book will be about Sexual Politics. None of you will be in it. Sorry. But you have influenced it, by influencing me.

Nicole started the original 'Ignore Line'

I admit I jumped on the Ignore Line bandwagon, altho I had been doing Ignore Calls on request prior, I just hadn't made it official with a separate Niteflirt Listing. Nicole was like, "I've been doing Ignore calls for years with slave Josephine." Slave Josephine is Nicole's personal slave, errand boy, boy friday. He must clean her condo, do her laundry, do her errands, grocery shopping (we're not talking substantial shopping as Nicole doesn't eat much at home), handwash her Mustang and put gas in it (ouch given today's gas prices). If he's lucky, Josephine gets to jerk off with her on the phone.

I should de-emphasize 'with her on the phone'. Basically he will call her and tell her how horny he is and beg for permission to masturbate. Sometimes Nicole will just hang up on him. Other times she will say, "I don't have time for this bullshit!" and put the phone down, back in her purse or wherever and do whatever she was doing prior to the interruption. She might pick up the phone a few minutes later and ask, "Are you fucking done yet pissant?" Sometimes she'll hang up if he's not done or just drop the phone back into the netherworld of her purse again.

She lets him call for 'phone sex', maybe she says, maybe if he's lucky twice a month. She gets her panties in a twist that she even has to put up with this twice a month ritual for all the value she gets out of having Josephine. Little boy fridays are hard to find and harder to keep. But Nicole says, oh com'n, he probably jerks to me all the time, to my panties, sniffs my seat in the Mustang and gets a stiffie, probably even humps my bed. This is true, without a nanny cam, it would be hard to know if Josephine is chaste otherwise!

Stripper Urban Legend

Nicole is operating under a delusion. She truly believes that Mr. Right or Mr. Rich is going to come sauntering into the club, see her, fall in love, marry her, take her away from the twat-scented pole. My friends and I think she has truly given up on getting a real job. Now she regales us with stories about how so-and-so, some mythical stripper at another club, say New York or Vegas or West Palm, married a rich doctor, lawyer, athlete and is driving a Benz, living in palatial surroundings. Nicole has a dream, but no destiny. I struggle with both.

Nicole Doesn't Fish from the Craigslist Pier

My girlfriends always crack up when they hear about some of the responses I get from my Craigslist or other online ads. Nicole, especially. Nicole's pier is the stage, the pole, the champagne court. She doesn't run online ads although she is occasionally tempted to run an ad when I land a big fish. But in the past I'd be equally tempted to swing around a pole after I heard about the whales she landed from the club. But big fish and whales tend to swim out to sea. Fishing is a constant chore. And a necessary one.

Craigslist, Wild Wild Craigslist

So I ran another Looking for a New Slave to add to my Harem ad on Craigslist recently in different SoFlo locales. Most of my ads get flagged immediately by the rent-a-ho services, but occasionally my ads stay up for about 24 hours and extract a barrage of responses. This time, the responses were truly bottom of the barrel.

Let's take a look at some of these slave wannabes:

Mr. Nude Handyman

....said he would perform nude painting or repairs to anything in my apartment

One of my mini-blinds isn't going up or down just right, but I don't think I want Mr. Nude Handyman to find out where I live or see his nasty nads just to get my mini-blinds fixed


Mr. Trapped in a Closet

....wanted to be locked into my closet while bound so he could smell clothes and shoes was willing to pay $20 for an hour of sniffery in my closet (hmmmmm)



Again, why would I want this stranger to know where I live!?!?! and let him in my place for $20, do I come off as so desperate need $ to buy crack?


Mr. Toejam

....wanted to lick and suck on my toes and lick out toejam, a bonus, he wrote, if there is toejam, then nibble on any toenails which otherwise might need clipping or I could clip them right in front of him and he would eat the clippings. (hmmmmmmm) For this he was willing to pay $50 once a month! A monthly rendez-vous for toejamming and toenail noshing!

Yet again, why would I want another stranger to know where I live!?!?!? and let him in my place for $50.


Maybe I should change my ad to: You will not know where I live for months! We will meet in public or hotels of my choosing! You will pay me $200 just for the privilege of meeting me and discussing your fantasy or fetish. I hope that will weed out some of the bottom of the barrel wannabes.

Struggling with Spanish

This isn't my grandmother's Miami any more. It happens to me when I'm walking down the street, someone will ask me a question or make a comment, usually about the weather. The only catch, they speak Spanish to me. Days and nights can go by and the only language I hear when I'm out and about is Spanish. My long dark hair = Latina = speaks Spanish. I speak a little Spanish, enough to get by. Enough to talk about the weather or buy stuff at stores and cafes. It happens to Taylor, who is a mezcla, a mix of white and Latino ethnicities, but she speaks as little Spanish as I do, her parents thought it was more important for her to know English, only English, little did they know, 25 years later, they would have made a blunder as to which the predominant language would be in SoFlo.

I could get more session work in my deemed profession if I spoke better Espanol. I am going to get the Rosetta Stone CDs or just do more immersion, learn more things to say about the weather....

From a recent news article:

This situation, so pleasing to Latin American immigrants, makes some English speakers feel marginalized. In the 1950s, it's estimated that more than 80 percent of Miami-Dade County residents were non-Hispanic whites. But in 2006, the Census Bureau estimates that number was only 18.5 percent, and in 2015 it is forecast to be 14 percent. Hispanics now make up about 60 percent.

"The Anglo population is leaving," said Juan Clark, a sociology professor at Miami Dade College. "One of the reactions is to emigrate toward the north. They resent the fact that (an American) has to learn Spanish in order to have advantages to work. If one doesn't speak Spanish, it's a disadvantage."


According to the Census, 58.5 percent of the county's 2.4 million residents speak Spanish - and half of those say they don't speak English well. English-only speakers make up 27.2 percent of the county's residents.

In the mainly Cuban city of Hialeah and in the Miami neighborhood of Little Havana, 94 percent of residents identified themselves as Hispanic.

Andrew Lynch, an expert on linguistics and bilingualism at the University of Miami, said that the presence of Spanish-speakers first became an issue in Miami-Dade County in the 1960s and '70s with the arrival of Cuban immigrants and intensified in the '80s with immigrants from not just Cuba, but Argentina, Venezuela and elsewhere in Latin America. The exodus of English speakers soon followed.

Entitlement



I've had a quite a few suggestions on maximizing my take from fatfuck c/o my sister, my girlfriends and even some of my admirers on Niteflirt. My sister counseled me at my gradation party and told me as long as I stay within his script, I can get more $ out of him.... Make him suck 2 cocks not just 1, make him watch me strap-on Nicole, make him watch me and 2 other girls go at it, make him watch me with a well hung cock or more than 1 cock. It's like playing poker, when you sit down at the table, you have to have the attitude that the other players' $ is yours. I need to up the ante with fatfuck. He's got to have stacks of chips from Botoxing and Trout Pout Limp Plumpery.



Other suggestions were blackmail and evil plots after I would take out very lucrative life insurance policies. As far as blackmail, I don't think his wife 'gives a crepe' about what fatfuck does, she has a beautiful house, household help, and plenty of plastic to shop with. When my sister, Nicole and I get our g-shots, my sister and I plan to bring up life insurance. Even if he doesn't die from an orgasm, he's a heart attack waiting to happen and shouldn't he plan for the near, hopefully very near future? Doesn't he want to make sure the really important women in his life are cared for after he expires?

Time Travel


Sara, I've called a few Princess listings, I can't deny it. I love a sweet young manipulative Princess. But the voices didn't match the pictures. Where are the real Princesses?

pic of me when I was barely legal, I wish I could time travel back 7 years ago, and launch on NF as a bitchy bratty Princess, I'd be in my condo castle now!

Sugarless Daddy


Hello there!!! May I have your attention please. I'd like to throw a suggestion out there that may or may not be of interest to you. I am looking for a woman that might consider a Sugar Daddy type relationship. I say Sugar Daddy type because a true Sugar Daddy wants to own you, for me this is not the case. I want a personable relationship not a business one. Sharing is the key word.

I am a young looking and young at heart mature niteclub professional. Believe me I do not look close to my age. I am athletic, knowledgeable and extremely open minded intellectually and sexually (details to be discreetly discussed). I also have a long time career of DJing mostly hip hop these days (in clubs) but spin all kinds of dance music. Put it this way Enyce, FUBU, Luxurie, Baby Phat, Apple Bottoms, Timberland are names that I want my girl to shop and doll up.

I find a woman that dresses slutty is open minded sexually. I will always encourage you to have sex with other men or women, as it is a major turn on for me BIG TIME. I have little jealousies and I am also bisexual. Hopefully you are open minded enough to embrace and exploit my bisexual nature, in a discreet manner of course. It seems these days that bisexual women are more accepted than a bisexual man.

It is not my intent to insult your intelligence, but to see if something like this might be of interest to you. I am very generous but don't see myself making your rent or car payments. I insist that you must also be employed.

I love a woman with nice eyes legs and feet. I give great foot massages and love to take you shoe shopping or watch while you get a pedicure. Usually I will wind up getting you a skirt and blouse or tight jeans and top. But thats just me. As long as it is one of my favorite brands you see above.

So if you are interested please reply with a pic attached and NO link to a website unless its myspace. So its your turn. What do you have to lose.

Hmmmm my white girl ways? So you want to be a Sugar Daddy but not pay for upkeep except pedicures and an occasional pair of Nelly Furtado Apple Bottoms jeans? Those jeans would flap in the wind off my petite vanilla derriere while I throw gang signs. This is the first time I've run into a ghetto girl fetish but....Miami DJs are all crazy anyway.

It's a Princess World!


pic of Nicole
Nicole will be joining me this Wednesday afternoon to kick fatfuck in the nards. I had to endure dinner with Idiot (who is now on Nicole's shitlist) and our agreement was that she would swap a session and join me to punish fatfuck. Our evil plan is to kick fatfuck in the nuts, make him lick our high heels, kiss our asses and suck our strap-ons. Then I'll remove all the cash from his wallet. My graduation gift.

Nicole is pissed. All her slaves except Josephine have disappeared. Her elderly jeweler slave, Abe, began suffering from senile dementia and now his family has complete control of his finances and his whereabouts at all times. She almost landed a D-list celebrity Sugar Daddy, but he went back to New York and forgot all about her C cups. She laments, at age 26, pretending to be forever 23, that the younger girls at the club, the 22 year olds pretending to be 19, are landing all the whales. It's a Princess World. Even on Niteflirt, the Princesses are taking over!

I wonder at 25, if I'm past my Princess expiration date. I look back at my pix from 18, 19, 20 and yes, I've matured, my face no longer has the cute young hottie look. I can't escape it, I look like more like a woman now. The baby phat has thinned, my cheekbones are out. I'm still hot, but it seems that men don't want mid 20 something women any more. 25 - 26 - 27 year old girls have disappeared into some weird limbo of age-ism, too old to be Princesses and too young to be MILFs....

Nicole has been thinking of migrating to another club where she can pull her '23 forever' for a few more years, she said 23 is wearing thin at the club she's bouncing boobies at right now. What Nicole really needs to do is launch her career, the one she went to college for, but right now, she's in the cash, and she's gagging on the idea of switching to a weency paycheck.

A Fish Named Dandy


Taylor is getting some nibbles on her hook. Nicole and I are high and dry. I think Nic and I need to go out and get our drink on and commiserate. The fishy nibbling on Taylor's hook is a FAG, but she claims he's not a fag. She says if it were like 100 years ago, he'd be called a Dandy. Yeah, well in my book Dandy spells FAG. Taylor and the Dandy Fop already have their first dining experience set up. This means 'fee paid' dining experience. Dandy wants to spank Taylor. This means 'fee paid' spanking experience.

Taylor claims to have the nicest, most spankable ass of all of us. Nicole says her ass is slightly superior. I dare not put my ass into this 'Bring It On' contest because I'd need to add poundage to build spankable meat. Taylor looks more for Sugar Daddies than slaves. It's more about the money to her than what she has to do or give up to get it. Being able to intoxicate herself with shopping afterward is worth the price of what she has to 'pay'. Nicole thinks Taylor is like a crack whore, but shopping is her crack.

UPdate: Dandy fagged out on the dining experience! Taylor was UPset. I told her she shouldn't have wasted so much time titillating him on cellie phone & txt & email before their meeting, because Dandy was probably yankee doodling the macaroni in his pantalones.

The Idiot - MIA in MIAMI!!!

Nicole = pissed. The idiot was supposed to have a date with her on Friday. This meant he was supposed to go to the strip club and spend lots of $$$ on Nicole. He was a no-show! Not only that, but Nicole kept ringing his cell phone to find out where his flabby ass was and all she got = voicemail. So she asked me to call his cell phone to see if he was dodging her #. I got voicemail too. I said maybe he fell asleep in his reclino-lounger and snoozed right thru his date. But he's still not answering today. So she's ultra-pissed. She asked me if it's possible she churned, turned and burned him faster than other slaves. This would be like 2 weeks. She tallied the take in her evil calculator brain. "Oh well, if he's done, at least I got $2,750."

Dinner with the Idiot!

Nicole and I went to dinner with the idiot. Of course, our intention was that he would have to pay in more ways that one. It was well worth it to him to shell out $500 plus dinner on his Amex to be seen with 2 beautiful girls. And he probably went home and j.o.'d altho Nicole told him to take a cold shower. We were planning to punish slave idiot in a session, but he claimed to be too nervous to do that yet. Call this dinner the icebreaker pre: the ballbreaker!

We also pretty much ignored slave idiot the whole nite, meaning we didn't really talk with him except to get some crucial information to use against him later. At one point, when he did say something, Nicole said to me: 'Did you hear something?' Me: 'No, it was an echo, the acoustics in this place are terrible.' Then she and I kept talking. He had told Nicole before our 'date' that he wanted us to order really expensive stuff off the menu and not even eat more than a few bites of, meaning waste food, which isn't any problem for me, because I usually only eat a few bites anyway. Then we made the waiter dude clear the plates into one styrofoam 'doggie-bag' container, incl. stuff Nicole and I had spit out or pre-chewed haha, and this was supposed to be idiot's late nite snack. Nicole said it would be better than eating pussy. Yum!

So for his punishment session, Nicole is planning to make him wear a bra and panties, due to his moobs!!! Man-boobs, see pic above. However, we didn't know his chest size....to get the right bra size. But men are so gullible and information can be extracted from them so easily by a pretty girl.

Me: So Idiot, Nicole emailed me the pic you sent her, since she wanted to show you off to all of her girlfriends

Idiot: {doesn't say anything, but I bet he starts a 'wittle' tent party in his pants}

Me: It looks like you used to lift weights alot, like you used to be a bodybuilder, your chest looks very developed

Nicole: {has to stop herself from cracking up, acts like she is choking / coughing}

Idiot: I still work out, girls thought I was a bodybuilder when I was younger, I worked out a lot then, 3 hours a day

Me: What is your chest size now?

Idiot: My chest size is my shirt size. I'm a 48.

Nicole laughed with me later, god I hope they have size 48 bras at Walmart! Ewwwwwww. I mean where else will we be able to buy a biggie-sized over-the-shoulder-manboob-holder?

Nicole's New Slave

Nicole has a new slave named idiot. She asked him to email her a pic of him so she could show him off to her girlfriends. A picture tells a thousand words. And all of them are GAY!!! Why, if you're 55 and rotundo, do you feel the need to get a tribal tatt??? What, so you can look hotter on the beach?!?! Looks like he dyes his hair and shaves his chest too, probably because the chest hair looked like old gray pubes. I know, he wanted to show off his moobs (man boobs). Anyway, I am supposed to punish slave idiot with Nicole sometime in the next few weeks. Nicole will then join me in punishing fatfuck next time I get that fat walrus in my clutches. Now Nicole and I have to decide what to do at these sessions to make them extra memorable.

GAYPRIL's Losers of the Month!


I am calling these Losers 'Wayne and Garth', I mean check it. I'm not even sure which of the dos fagitos emailed me, but fagito email went like this:

urr hott, my msn id is xxxxxx IM me baby I want to lick urr pussy...

one of these fagitos think this pic is hott enuf 2 get me wett enuf 2 IM him???? I mean please superfags, cybersex went out like 10 years ago, sexting messages are in now. Get with the times fagitos! Better yet, lick each other's hairy parts, cuz I don't sext with fags. You, as in both of you nameless fags, are Gaypril's Losers of the Month!!! PS Garth -- gunfingers are gay....

Lots of Leis



Dear Sara

I use any party as an excuse to dress up like a girl, Halloween, Mardi Gras, Hawaiian Luau. Here is a pic of me as proof. Girls seem to get into it, they'll say that I'm embracing my feminine side, but don't call me a sissy or anything. Guys will call me a sissy faggot. I don't even dress up otherwise, just a few times a year. I don't wear girlie panties or anything, just costumes. I want to date girls, but I'm really shy to ask them out. I have a 7" dick. I don't even want to suck cock though I would suck a girl's strapon or take it from a girl in the ass. Am I a sissy?

Deaner


Yes, I vote sissy with a touch of faggot! Just feel lucky I didn't nominate you as my Gaypril Loser of the Month!

oxyMORON



Miss Sara, i'm single & live alone. i admit i do sometimes fantasize about sucking a real cock so i was intrigued to read that You turn men gay. i'm not gay and very very hetero but admit i havent had a date with a girl in over 4 years. i'm on cam dressed like a sissy whore to try and get money from real men. i even put fake tan on around my bra and now i look as if i have real white tits what used to look like manboobs. my hot cam shots are attached for Your amusement Miss Sara.

Saying you are very very hetero is an oxymoron

SHARK SIGHTING


Slave 'hopefuls' solicit themselves via email, begging to serve. Some even include photos, as you've seen posted on my blog. Those who value discretion, crop or blur out their faces. I nominate the above photo as the most unique photo cropping, I actually laughed, but no, he's not rich or kinky enough for me to add to my 'harem'.

March Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob


Dear Sara

I hope you will make me the loser of the month. I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. The last girlfriend I had convinced me to pay for her plastic surgery. Idiot (me) paid for her to get a 'boob job'. As soon as she got that, she broke up with me. She only had sex with me twice and also made me take her shopping, that was basically how we 'dated'. We went shopping, I bought her things, then we went out to dinner. Then she would get some cash out of me, so she could go out with her 'friends'. And she took things out of my house, if she liked something: a framed print, an espresso machine, an oriental rug, those things and more all went to her apartment. Then this pretty married woman at work, she was going through a divorce, I lent her money to help her out, thousands over 6 months. She left the company, and moved out of the area after the divorce was finalized. I thought we would start dating as soon as she divorced, at least that's what she led me to believe. I'm so pathetic, a real idiot. Please punish me by making me the loser of the month I beg of you.

Brian

Consider it done! Sara

Antonio a no-go

I had a brief thing for Antonio, a big black bull bouncer at Nicole's club. He danced at my birthday party and I licked frosting off of his huge cock. I fantasized about adding him to my 'rotation' and we exchanged some nasty txt msgs. But he lives over an hour away without traffic and 99% of his pussy is closer to his crib. Plus he hooks up from the club. And last but not least, Nicole calls him a pig. If Nicole calls someone a pig, then he's a real pig. Nicole's pig measuring stick has more porkish tolerance. Nicole says fuck'm there's more BBC in the sea. We need to book a deep sea fishing trip.

IKEA has nothing to worry about...


Dear Sara

I am from Scandinavia, but live in New York City now and I import items from Scandivania to American stores, many clogs, beautiful sweaters. I would like to send you anything you want. Tell me your sizes. You are so beautiful. You would look so sexy in one of my sweaters.

Pelle


Dear Pelle Poodleboy

First of all, I live in Florida, it's tropical down here. I own one sweater, it's beige silk and not too hot, and I've only worn it on trips out of Florida or if it's chilly up in Central or Northern Florida when I visit friends or family. And I don't do clogs. So if you want a doll to dress up, look elsewhere. If you want to buy me some things to wear appropriate to where I live, send me a gift cert online.

Sara

Queereye

Queereye and I were having a dining experience this past Sunday which he cut short to get home to watch the Oscars. What a fag! Or as my friend remarked, must not have TIVO. But I think he really wanted to rush home to see all the actresses in their oh-so-pretty designer gowns. I'm sure that made his peenie quite excited!
And he denies he's gay! How can he when he looks like this!

toad

Everyone wants to know, what is up with the toad? He has been flaky lately. He doesn't want to stay locked up, which has been my primary modicum (haha) of control over the little runt. I have been using my spy, Senora, our shared cleaning lady, to suss out what has been going on at the toad abode. Senora reports that toad has been dating!!! Without my permission. Someone from work apparently. And not a dude! But a woman who looks like a dude. So he is still gay, I can breathe a sigh of relief. But bottom line is he just hasn't been a good toad lately, the $$$ tributes have been drying up. All slaves burn out eventually, it's been a year, a wild year for the toad. I lifted him out of loser obscurity and gave him a purpose in life, to worship me. I paid attention to his little weenis. I certified him as gay. I made family appearances, much to my displeasure, but hey they were paid gigs. Sometimes toad has been known to redeem himself at the last minute, sensing that I am pissed off and about ready to dismiss him. But I am tired of this hot / cold game with him, it makes me feel like he is topping from the bottom. I need to replace him.

I have a few prospects, including Hairball and Queereye, as possible replacements for my fading toad....

Hairball lives in St. Pete and is old enough to be my grandfather. He insists he just wants a pretty girl to take out to dinner when he makes his twice monthly jaunts to Miami to see a relative. And he wants to lick the kitty. But kitty-licking has to be earned. He claims he is not enslavable. He has not desire to submit. He complains he is tired of the golddiggers and sugar babies who have been trying to scheme him out of his money. Hmmmm what am I then?

Queereye is a fag-in-denial. He thinks he's straight, but any man who says to me that he is a stylish dresser and has a passion for interior decor, well, that dude's a FAG! I need to own him. I picture him naked with a dog collar crawling around at my feet. He won't even be permitted to talk, that would be too annoying. He would just have to whimper and beg. I will throw him those little doggie treats when he's been a good boy. You better believe he will have to eat them! {My sister and I used to make our step-brother Alex eat dog treats, so it would be fun to revisit one of my earliest humiliations.}

Divine Goddess,

I am an italian man who lives near Milan,
a free professional with his own business.
I live in my home alone, without relations.
I am 43 yo, 185 cm tall, 70 kg weight
I am a Female-Ass slave. I love to like ass
and live under your ass, better to You have hair there.
I dream to be your slave, I can travel to You
if You need my tongue services, or,
better, I can hospite You here in Italy
(all the time You want and need), and if You want
to visit this wonderful country, I can be your slave and
to You my Princess.
Your Ass-slave Andrea

Being half-Italian, I would love to go to Italy and see where my ancestors lived, and Ass-slave Andrea should pay for it! But ewwwww, one look at Ass-slave and his uncircumcised aardvark....My Milano travel plans are shelved....

Huh?

I want to date mistress some one that is a member or true dating servoces a women wants to talk or mail me &i can,t reply unless i give info to join &i will not do that &yes i know that it could be a skam &that she doesn,t excist only a ploy to joirn a pron site that is why ia,m asking for someone to be a go between so i can give her my email add. pls help me mistress sincerly fred

Well I'll post it on my blog fred. If any women want to talk to you or mail you and don't require anything from you or proof of a rabies vaccine, they can let me know!

My Funny Valentines

fatfuck

I saw fatfuck for a session on Wednesday. I had texted him before the session that I had a Valentine's surprise for him, and he better have one for me! I wore my sexy, slutty red fishnets, thong, bustiere outfit that some of you may have seen in my picture pack.... At the session I fucked my pussy with my red jelly double dong and made him suck the other cock head. I thought he was going to pass out. Sound the alarm!

I collected an additional $300 for Valentine's altho I told him I was disappointed he didn't have a gift for me and bemoaned I don't feel special to him anymore. He begged and pleaded for forgiveness, that he has been so busy pricking faces and g-spots and so many of his clients request him and only him, not any of his 'associates'. I told him at our next session, he better show his appreciation for his Mistress, we shall see.

-------------------------------------

No Valentine-y Action from Waygay

I am pissed at Waygay. He told me he probably won't need me to faux again till June for his birthday, and then again in August for Granny's. I told him I can't wait that long and that he needs to put me on a monthly retainer if he wants me to be available in the future. He was taken aback, but said he would work on it. This either means he was blowing me off, or he will beat up some of his old queen slaves for the $$$. Again, we shall see.

--------------------------------------

My Valentine's Dinner with X




STOP asking me to reveal X's identity. I've been sworn to secrecy and I won't break my oath. Besides, he's not famous to look at, well maybe some of you might recognize him, altho he's more famous for what he does. OK that's enough clues. X took me to dinner for Valentine's. And give me Godiva chocolates. Since X is diabetic, he can live vicariously. He'd probably get off watching me eat chocolates. But since I'm anorexic, the box of chocolates might as well be litter box turdettes. I'm going to drop off the box at Nicole's strip joint dressing room and see Antonio the big bouncer who fucked my birthday cake. I'm in the mood to suck cock.

------------------------------

Jesse

A few of you have asked about Jesse, my former most favorite fucktoy. Well, he is seeing someone, how dare he!?! And he is reserving his cock for that one lucky pussy. I never knew him to show such restraint, he's 'dated' girls before, but still fucked me, now I don't know what's going on. And he won't return my calls.

---------------------------------

Fucktoys

So I only have Timmer (Tim, Timoteo, the Timp, Timbo, Tim-fuk-u) who if he's not too drunk, has a huge whiteboy dick and can last a lonnnngggg time, and Arion, my Lenny Kravitz look-alike. But Arion has a huge rotation (meaning alot of girls who want his dick and he wants to service them all), so I don't get to see him as much as I would like. I just totally get into the way he treats me in bed, you know, like a slut. I want to add Antonio to my own rotation. And maybe one more guy. It's time to go hunting for cock at the clubs. Nicole is in a cock hunting mood too. She's been fucking too much for $$ she says haha, she wants to fuck for fuck's sake!!!

X

I have a repeat dinner date who has asked me not to give away his identity on my blog. If I revealed, he would be a known entity to 100% of my bloggies, so I shall call him 'X'. X pays me to dine with him once a week or so. He's not submissive, so I can't domme him, he has no fetish or freaky fantasy I can indulge, so I can't use him. He does love my stories about my 'pussybois', especially, 'the little toad'. It's hard to believe someone just enjoys spending time with me. Sex? No. X weighs as much as fatfuck, altho X is tall. And X is older, has health problems, diabetes being one of them. I asked X if he was the Mystery Spanker at my party and he said no, he wishes!

gift 'baring'

I told waygay he needs to milk my birthday and Valentine's Day for all its' worth in the ongoing saga of making his family believe he's not gay. So before I go to my Mom's for le grande birthday dinner: 1. He is meeting me to give me my gifties 2. We'll stop by Granny waygay's house in Boca, so he can show her what he got me 3. We'll act like we're in a rush to get to my Mom's for my b-day dinner (also in Boca) 3. He's not really coming for dinner, it's a ruse to make Granny waygay think our relationship is semi-serious.

As for the gifties, he got me diamond earrings for Xmas, my demand, don't shitstain your panties, they were quarter carats, nothing too 'spectac'. He wanted to know what he should get me for my birthday, he obviously has no clue when it comes to girls, what they 'really, really want'. He suggested perfume. I'm not big into perfume, but I sometimes spray a scent into the air, then flip my hair into, I call this technique 'misting'. Or I spray it on the nape of my neck, it seems to drive men wild. Let's see what gay or yay perfume he buys me as I gave him no hints. As long as it isn't Britney's parfum, eau de barf.

But perfume isn't enough. I told him I need a new cell phone, I've dropped my Finnish piece of shit Nokia a million times, and it's on the fritz. I also told him to get something slutty from VS. I'll blush (I easily blush) at Granny's and say I can't show off that gift, 'it's too racy', but Granny will get the idea, hehe. Or she may even ask to see it.....maybe it will give Granny a little tingle....naughty naughty

fatfuck forgot my birthday! or the price of bush

Yesterday, I punished fatfuck in the hotel room. This time he wanted me to be extra cruel, so I dialed it up. I smacked his face harder, kicked his gnarly gnuts and shriveled prune with evil glee, walked on him like a rug, while wearing my black stockings and heels. He groveled and begged me to grow a bush so I could rub it against his face, but I told him this would be extremely expensive as I think bushes are ewwwww. Thousands I told him, the price of bush is thousands for my disgust and mental anguish. I told him it would ruin my social life as I couldn't bear to go to the beach with a bush under my bikini bottom or what if I got into a car accident and had to go the ER and I had a bush! Yuck, everyone would think I was from some country where girls don't shave. Too embarrassing. None of my girlfriends have bushes either, so I can't even bring in a hired stand-in bush.

Faggyboy Adam showed up at his appointed hour and got his dick sucked then left in a whirl, my guess.... to buy some 420 and zone out for the next 24. I then asked fatfucker what he got me for my birthday and he had forgotten all about it. I deliberately didn't remind him, because I knew I would get more $ from the fatass fuck if I made him feel completely and utterly guilty over forgetting his precious Mistress' birthday. "Oh my God, Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot, I'm such a worthless kike, please punish me Mistress, please make me feel even more pain." Of course I obliged.

waygay's story Part II

waygay split for LA. His personal training job at a gym in WeHo (West Hollywood), LA's gay-land, was a way for him to hook up and hustle. He met an older, washed up rockstar, who hired him as his personal trainer and assistant, but it was a bogus job to cover up the rockstar keeping him as his gayboy playtoy. Waygay won't tell me who the rockstar is, but he told me the dude was a mess, and was always on the verge of OD'ing to get attention, or acting like an old bitch, crying 'you don't love me' 'I know you fucking cheat on me'. There were plenty of break-ups and make-ups, but one day there was a huge fight, Waygay was fed up and bounced to Seattle to ply his trade there.

He hadn't been in Seattle long when an investigative firm hired by his grandfather found him. His grandfather was ill, dying, and wanted to see the family heal and reconcile. Since the gay shocker, his mother had been in psychotherapy, guilt trip, 1st class. His father would not even acknowledge his existence, nor mention his name. To pacify the grandfather, everyone gritted thru his final days, and made it look like the family had been put back together. Waygay claimed he was no longer gay, and told everyone that his gay foray had been due to his extreme partying. His family believed him.

He received $ from his grandfather to finish school; the estate provides a small monthly stipend. But he still works as a personal trainer and hustles for $$$.

Waygay pays me to make his family believe his lie. I do it extremely well. I should have been an actress, not a model....

waygay's story

Just before Xmas time, I decided to run an ad on CL to offer my services to closet fags, losers and lonelyhearts as a 'faux girlfriend'. Rent-a-girlfriend for holiday events, but NO SEX. Just CASH. You see, I had a goal to come up with a fat down payment for my new car, well, a 'new' used car, something more reliable than my Flintstones 'feets' mobile. I did pretty well with my Rent-a-Girlfriend biz, and plopped $5K down on my cute lil Honda. Some of my renters: Grandpa Viagra, 59 years old, whose wife had left him only 3 years prior after over 30 years of marriage. There was CompanyFagInc who had rented a stripper to do a corporate charity event, but she had worn an outfit a little too risque for the corporate types and it raised too many eyebrows, so he wanted a girl with a more conservative look for his company holiday bash. Believe it or not, I actually had to tame myself down for the gayboy's party. There were a few more one-off holiday events, and last but not least, there was waygay. Waygay had been lying to his family for months that he had a girlfriend, but had no one to produce for family holidays.

Waygay comes from a family where gayness is worse than leprosy. He's the only son of an only son and is definitely expected to go ye forth and procreate. Waygay knew he was gay in junior high, but fought the gay all the way thru high school by dating hotties to throw off his family. But then when he went to college, he couldn't hold in the gay anymore and began the life of cruising and hustling. Not that he needed the $ as his family was paying his way thru school, plus spending $, but he had the craving. He was young and hot and wanted to be paid for access to his holes. But then waygay got a little greedy.

He moved in with a gay dude who was his main fuck, but told everyone he was going to be renting an apartment, because the dorms were too crazy. Sure. Daddy began cutting checks to the landlord for rent (the scam was the rent checks were going to his fuck friend for more than the fuck friend paid for rent to the real landlord) and Daddy covered all the utilities, food plus fun money. Then he and his fuck friend were in a car accident, and it got ugly, drugs and poppers found in the wreck. So his family knew about his partying, but his family found out an even big shocker when Mommy went down to his apartment while he was in the hospital. There was only one bedroom, and it was obvious they were sleeping to-gay-ther. Waygay was immediately cut off from family funds and he quit school and took off for Cali. (to be continued....)

The Slave Trade

People dip into my blog at a certain point, craving backstory on my RT slaves: fatfuck and toad. Pssst I also have my gay boytoy waygay.


fatfuck faq

Who is fatfuck and how long has he been serving me?

ff is a plastic surgeon who I see about 2x per month for hotel punishment sessions. He's as fat as a walrus, hairy and fugly. But he's been a loyal, long term slave (almost 2 years).

What do you do to fatfuck?

ff loves humiliation or as he coined the term: jew-miliation. He taught me Yiddish words to use when I punish him for extra-added punch. Example: "fagele" well it doesn't really need to be translated does it?

He also likes to be smacked, spit on, spanked, kicked in the nuts, trampled, ignored while I walk on him, meaning walk on him as if he's a worthless rug. He likes to drink pee, lick my pussy while I'm peeing, sniff and lick my ass, kiss my feet, suck on my high heels.

Do you make him do anything gay?

I also got him into sucking cock, and he regularly gobbles an 8" fatboy. He will also suck my strap-on, but to be honest, I'd rather see him sucking dick.

Do you and Nicki or another girl punish fatfuck together?

Yes! It's double the trouble, double the pain.

Does fatfuck take you shopping?

He really doesn't have the time, so he let's me do the shopping at a few stores near one of his offices, and waddles over with his credit card and pays. He likes to see me in different stockings and heels, this is fatfuck's visual fetish. Sometimes he even likes to see me in old fashioned pantyhose, apparently he likes vintage pantyhose. You can guess why.

What does fatfuck pay you?

Well that info is private, but let's just say, when I guess-timated what I got from the walrus last year, it was about $15,000 cash baby cash. Plus shopping sprees, plus a freebie g-shot (pussy g-spot injection worth about $1,200). Yes, fatfuck got to stare deep in my pussy, a pussy he will never ever fuck.