toad

Everyone wants to know, what is up with the toad? He has been flaky lately. He doesn't want to stay locked up, which has been my primary modicum (haha) of control over the little runt. I have been using my spy, Senora, our shared cleaning lady, to suss out what has been going on at the toad abode. Senora reports that toad has been dating!!! Without my permission. Someone from work apparently. And not a dude! But a woman who looks like a dude. So he is still gay, I can breathe a sigh of relief. But bottom line is he just hasn't been a good toad lately, the $$$ tributes have been drying up. All slaves burn out eventually, it's been a year, a wild year for the toad. I lifted him out of loser obscurity and gave him a purpose in life, to worship me. I paid attention to his little weenis. I certified him as gay. I made family appearances, much to my displeasure, but hey they were paid gigs. Sometimes toad has been known to redeem himself at the last minute, sensing that I am pissed off and about ready to dismiss him. But I am tired of this hot / cold game with him, it makes me feel like he is topping from the bottom. I need to replace him.

I have a few prospects, including Hairball and Queereye, as possible replacements for my fading toad....

Hairball lives in St. Pete and is old enough to be my grandfather. He insists he just wants a pretty girl to take out to dinner when he makes his twice monthly jaunts to Miami to see a relative. And he wants to lick the kitty. But kitty-licking has to be earned. He claims he is not enslavable. He has not desire to submit. He complains he is tired of the golddiggers and sugar babies who have been trying to scheme him out of his money. Hmmmm what am I then?

Queereye is a fag-in-denial. He thinks he's straight, but any man who says to me that he is a stylish dresser and has a passion for interior decor, well, that dude's a FAG! I need to own him. I picture him naked with a dog collar crawling around at my feet. He won't even be permitted to talk, that would be too annoying. He would just have to whimper and beg. I will throw him those little doggie treats when he's been a good boy. You better believe he will have to eat them! {My sister and I used to make our step-brother Alex eat dog treats, so it would be fun to revisit one of my earliest humiliations.}