PMS

My potential new slave and I had a little tiff at dinner on Thursday. As you readers may remember, he claims to like CBT. We were out to dinner together and just to remind him of who wears the heels, I went to kick him under the table with a pretty spiky one. And he admonished me in a paternal tone: "Don't do that again." Maybe it was PMS, or maybe I'd just had enough of dealing with his bullshit, but I told him I lost my appetite, stood up and put out my hand and asked for "cab fare". At first he looked at me and said "You drove here." And I said, "I need cab fare, I'm leaving." I think he got my gist, when I leaned over and said, "I can say it louder." He handed over $200. While I'm driving back, he is ringing my cel, but I shut it off. He didn't leave a message. He tries to top from the bottom, I've found this to be a beta male trait, especially on Niteflirt. It's harder to deal with in 3D. But I dealt. On Saturday afternoon, he left me a message to call him, but if he wants to see me again, he's going to have to do better than that.

This little piggy cried weeweewee all the way home....

This little slave piggy doesn't make the cut. Correspondence from my search for a new RT slave.

i really liked ur ad and feel it was written for me. i stopped dating years ago b/c somehow i always turned into a servant. every girl i dated would have me pay for dinners and clothes, and not want to have sex with me. eventually i got used to it and now that's all i enjoy. you look like the kind of girl i'd enjoy pampering from time to time. could i meet you at your nail salon and pay for your nail appointments?

before I agree to meet, and we would meet at a safe public place of my choice, I would need a pic or two of you, and to know more about your willingness to serve, especially financial commitment you would be willing to make. I only have so much time to devote to my devotees and I want to make sure my pets are not financial weaklings. then at some point, yes, you could show up and pay for my nails, or whatever else I choose as far as body pampering....

thanks for your reply. here is my pic. i know u don't want to waste ur time with "financial wimps." i used to spend lots and girls would let me worship their feet. but now i'm broke and can only handle paying for things like your nail appts. at salon. but i'll behave if you give me a chance. can i please serve you?

while I'm glad you've gone broke serving women, I'm looking for men with means, anything less is a waste of my time


So apropos that there is a trash can in the background of the pic....

Mr. Sungla$$e$

I'm looking for rich slaves, wimps, losers & cucks. So when I get emails like this:

I'm a 42 year old business owner of an xxxxxx company in xxxx xxxxxx Calif and I make over one million a year. Generous, clean cut, fun personality. I am looking for someone who can help me escape for a while from my busy day to day life. I had a situation that was great but she went back to college in Chicago. Our relationship would include get togethers a few times a month and opportunities to travel with me on business trips. I need someone who is cute and fun, but spontaneous and sexual behind closed doors. You need to be able to get dressed up and go to a 5 star or dress down and go to Coyote Ugly in Vegas with me.

If we click I would like an occasional travel companion during my trips to San Fran, Vegas, Chicago, New York, Seattle or Florida. My first gesture to you will be your own house/apartment....OR a car. All I expect in return is respect and honesty. Is that too much to ask for? Get back to me!

The icing on his puke cake is the photo, yes, the photo above is 'his photo' on his listing. Now if that picture isn't from an ad for sunglasses or a stock photo that he lifted. Cuz there is no way that is a 42 year old dude. And if you make a million a year, why isn't your account upgraded so I can email you back? Basically, I would have to pay $19.95 a month to email back cheap losers like this, who won't break out their credit card. Or rip to shreds a dickwad who didn't even take time to read my ad, but probably did a geo search then a cut & paste email to all girls in that area. So I wonder what Mr. Sunglasses really looks like and really makes a year! Hmmmm....

Nuts and Balls

I haven't really come up with an appropriate nickname for this potential new slave. I've been calling him Nuts because he likes to have his nutsack kicked. Hard. But after the first session, he went incommunicado for almost 10 days, because I'd kicked them, well, a little too hard apparently. And he still isn't ready, after 2 weeks, to have them punished again. Pussyboy! He has even been telling his golfing buddies that he has a groin pull from working out at the gym, as to why he can't play golf. I'm supposed to have dinner with him tomorrow and plan to wear some spiky heels into which I'll impale his balls at the table. Hard. Just to show him who's in charge.

The Gold Rush

Toad is in fade mode, I think his sister is keeping her claws in and is poisoning him about my golddigger ways. But the pot shouldn't call the kettle black, as my Irish grandmother used to say. I admit, I'm in it for the $. Maybe I should just go around wearing the golddigger hottie uniform:



Sooooo, I'm on the hunt for new RT slaves down here.

Slim pickings, every dude wants to sex me up.

A plastic surgeon (not another one!) writes:

I like bi girlzzzz who like to party, do you like to party, send a pic of you and your girlfriend together, I am very generous, you can do your girlfriend then I will join in, don't worry I will wear a condom, you need to be appreciative.

(hmmm does appreciative mean we will let him fuck us in the ass???)

Sorry we'll pass.

A strange one from Central America:

(misspellings left in for your reading displeasure)

I am a helicopeter pilot in the XXXXXX military. Looking for pretty girl of my dreams, long bruwn hair, 24 is oldest, you can travel arround? I will pay. I will pay $1000 - $3000 a month US dollar for fun an enjoy the good thing of life.



(hmmmm how can a 'helicopeter' pilot from country XXXXXX afford this? sniff sniff, oh yes, that's the answer!)



So gangsta with his hand inside his windbreaker, what is he packing? His cel phone?

Spurtnik

Biggest Loser of the Month!

This scanned pic is old, granted. The loser even admitted it dates back to the Mesolithic age of computers, mid-80's. He was young, and well, what a stud! The hair, the 'stache, the glasses, the edgy pose with the cigarette. His rig, check it, his rig was impressive, what is that an old 286? When that photo was taken, most likely in his paneled basement, make that his Mom's paneled basement, it was state-of-the-art, hard to imagine!

I guess he doesn't want us to see the fatter, middle-aged version of himself, or the new rig he uses to surf for porn, or give away the secret that he may still be living at home, and jerkin' it to his flatscreen monitor, in Mom's paneled basement.

COMBINED PENIS SIZE LESS THAN 7"

So apropos that they had their picture taken in front of a dumpster....

Calling All Losers!

Where are the losers when you need them the most?

You might have noticed I haven't posted a July loser yet. That is because I have not received a photo and loser confession loserly enough to post. Pathetic! Are all you losers on vacation? Do I have to resort to re-posting the Stinkbob photo and an update on the celebrity loser I have created? A few of my NF fans have asked me to set up a Stinkbob t-shirt on cafepress.com and they will buy it! Another wants me to set up a Stinkbob Fan Club and feature Stinkbob merch 4sale. Vom!!!

So. Losers. That. Means. You.

Send me your loser photos and confessions. I need to pick me a winner hehe.

Fishy

I punished both fatfuck and newslave yesterday afternoon. It was quite lucrative and I paid next month's rent plus paid off my Discover card balance. However, I'm not sure if newslave will become a regular. There's a chasm between what he really wants and what I'm willing to give him, until he earns the privilege of being granted access to one of the most sacred parts of my temple, my tiny little pink pucker. For now, I am comfortable with punishing his privates. So, I punished his cock and balls via ballkicking, trampling and CBT using various implements from around my apartment including my toilet brush. Result 'apres' CBT? He was looking a little green about the gills and wasn't even able to crawl to dinner as he'd promised he would take me out afterward. I threw the champagne bucket of ice at him. He said, HEY! I said, party pooper. He said, it was just a little more intense than I thought. Then he asked if I'd given any more thought as to when he can give me a massage and lick my ass and I said, NO. But you can pay to watch someone else lick my ass. Apparently not the answer or scenario he was looking for. Fuck him. I can find another fish or two to fry....

Hop on it toad!!!

Toad is in the market to buy 3 condos as soon as he sells his sandlot. We're not talking condos in the mega-mega price range, but condos which have tumbled from the 400's to the 300's or the 300's to the 200's. He is looking to assume mortgages and install renters. Memememe!!! I can rent one if he gives me a very reasonable rent. I want an ocean vu!! Well I can dream can't I....

"In housing markets across the country, the reassuring refrain goes a little something like this: At least it's not as bad as Miami. Nowhere has the real estate slowdown hit as hard as it has here. At the height of the boom, speculators gorged on condos, lining up for lotteries and flipping paper units. Then, in 2005, the market turned, and the buyers vanished.

But now the vultures are circling - almost literally.

Peter Zalewski's year-old firm, Condo Vultures, tracks units that stall on the market for more than 100 days and shed at least 10 percent or $100,000 in price. His database now lists more than 1,400 condos.

Zalewski recently let Fortune tag along as he sized up a vacant two-bedroom penthouse in a 35-story tower overlooking Biscayne Bay. With $10,000 in monthly costs, the seller - an investor who failed to flip - has already cut his price from $1.2 million to $849,000. Besides the hefty discount, the unit has one of Zalewski's favorite features: an unfinished concrete floor. "It tells you the seller is desperate," he says.

Desperation hangs in the air here - and analysts say today's market is only a prelude to a bigger glut. Nearly 8,000 units are on the way this year, with another 12,000 coming in 2008, says Jack McCabe of McCabe Research& Consulting in Deerfield Beach, Fla.

Bob Zimmel, a 55-year-old health-care exec in Bethlehem, Pa., and a Condo Vultures client, is one buyer who is willing to wait. "I think the market's still going to settle out in the next 18 months," he says. If you can't wait that long, consider leasing in the meantime. The owners of a similar empty penthouse in the Biscayne Bay tower are looking to rent - so badly that they've dropped their monthly price from $4,500 to $2,800."

Stud Baker

I giggle at the variations on the Nigerian scam emails. This one from South Africa, I would assume by the contact email addy. But who would believe 'Stud Baker', I mean not even a porn star would use the name, gay or straight!


--- JOHN KALABI wrote:

> Date: Wed, 4 July 2007 17:09:14 +0100
> From: JOHN KALABI
> Subject: FROM JOHN AND SARAH KALABI
>
>
>
> PLEASE I want to crave your indulgence in reading
> through this mail to
> understand my predicament. My name is John Kalabi
> and my younger sister is Sarah
> Kalabi from Sierra Leone , who is currently residing
> here in Accra-Ghana. All
> hope of having a better future was shattered by the
> war in Sierra Leone , I and
> my sister being the only surviving family of a gold
> merchant in Sierra Leone
> will were left with no alternative than to flee to
> Ghana . Please I am
> contacting you to assist me and my sister to
> retrieve and receive our
> consignment over there in American that contains
> 15million United States dollars
> and some quantity of gold and Diamond, which I
> cannot specify. The consignment
> is presently in American. The consignments get to
> the state through the help of
> Dr Clinton komelo. The fact is that Dr Clinton
> Komelo is supposed to have
> delivered the consignment to a man called Mr. STUD
> BAKER in American. The week
> Dr Clinton Komelo is suppose to deliver the
> consignment to him, when he got to
> American after clearing the consignment from the
> Airport, he call Mr. Stud Baker
> to tell him the description to is house for the
> delivery, but is wife answered
> the call and told Dr Clinton Komelo that her husband
> Mr. Stud Baker had a fatal
> car accident which lead to his death some few hours
> later. Mr. Stud Baker has
> already paid the demurrages from the security
> company, he paid for the Bullion van
> that took the consignment to the airport and he paid
> for custom check report he
> also assisted us in getting the DRUG / ANTI
> TERRIORIST CERTIFICATE, which is so
> expensive that he spent 25 thousand united state
> dollars to acquire it, but
> unfortunately he died in a car accident, that was
> why Dr Clinton Komelo has to
> deposit the consignment with a warehouse over there
> in American and called us to
> informed us about what is happening, and told us to
> look for a new beneficiary
> to received the consignment. So please I will like
> you to assist I and my sister
> to received the consignment from the diplomat in
> American.
>
> I await your urgent response.
>
> Thanks and God bless you
>
> John & Sarah Kalabi.
>
> Note:Please kindly reach me and my younger sister
> sara kalabi with this email
> address for further details:johnkalabi@webmail.co.za

Starfish Hunting

I am in the throes of reeling in a new RT slave. No nickname for him yet, but as soon as I do, he will join the infamous toad and fatfuck. So far I've done dinner twice with newslave and plan to punish him next week after I do fatfuck. A Wednesday matinee double feature. Unlike my other slaves, this slave is quasi-cute, and someone who I don't feel so uncool to be seen with. His thing is CBT which I told him my experience has been trampling, ball-kicking and other painful ministrations I inflict on fatfuck. Gods of Miami, I truly want to give up the grab-ass cocktailing and exploit my bevy of slaves. Plus I am getting the funny feeling that toad is nearing his expiration date. Though perhaps he just wants to go back to wacking off to pics of his sister in a bikini.

Newslave also wants to lick my ass and puss-puss. But I must keep stringing him along on this as I've been advised that the fantasy, the power of the fantasy of doing this will be greater than actually doing it. Once he licks my ass a few times, not that my ass isn't fine, sweet, and ultra-lickable, but once the hunt is over, he will get bored and move onto the next little puckered starfish.