Slipping out for a few....



The toad keeps complaining that his weenis is slipping out of its' cage, so I found the solution! Apparently, this only applies to the CB2000 users as this slippage was corrected in the CB3000. Imagine the engineering behind that!

FIDdles

Short for 'Fags in Denial'. These fagboys just won't give in to their inner gay, although everyone can smell their outer gay. This fag wanted to have a vanilla relationship with moi! Vanilla isn't my flavor, 'n-i-l-l-a is how you spell b-o-r-i-n-g.... I think FIDdle needs piano lessons from a Dominatrix. A little whip action. He also claimed to be rich, but he's playing an upright piano, not a grand piano. A piano is like a car, girls can tell dick sizes from piano sizes, as well as read how much $ you don't have.

E M B E R
Teehee... Nicole sent me this pic of Ember when she was drunk and dancing at a party. Ember will probably make me take this pic down, so enjoy it while it's up!

The Fag from FUC

I am now assigning little fagboys into categories, along with illustrative photos. I feel like I'm doing a project for the National Geographic Channel. Here we observe the little Faggot Under Cover or FUC. A FUC needs to be exposed for the faggot that he truly is. He looks like a fag, acts like a fag, everyone thinks he's a fag, but him.
As for this first FUC? Ember, my dear blonde friend, needed some amusement and decided to put up a profile on a dating site to see what little fishies responded. She decided to fuck with any losers, wimps or fags who got in touch with her. I lamented to Ember, you should do NF, why do humiliation for free? But it's so much fun, she retorted. She passed along 2 photos to me via email, god, it was, yes it was, a FUC! Not only that, but he may also be a FIDdle (fag in denial). The other sad fact is that this FUC claims to be 41???? Hmmmmm, he must have hit the 4 instead of the 5 key.

The Fagtastic Five

One of my bloggies sent me this chillarious pic. As we know from the plethora of superhero 'n' comic book hero movies popped out by Hollywood, America 'lurvs' men in tights. Let's make that fags in tights. According to my bloggie, there are 'groups' or 'clubs' gay men can join to pursue their superhero fantasies. Video camera optional. Perhaps Spidey needed more white sticky stuff?

420 Betas


I am so tired of beta males who smoke the ganja. They are totally useless. Their motivation has left the building, along with Fat Elvis. When the 420's get a tiny hint of a chubber, they write me emails like:

Hello my names Derek Im a 21 year old college student at xxxxxU and I would love to be your bi bitch and spoil you anyway you like. Id love to learn more about you and what your looking for and do anything to just be your bitch. Ill be your cuck, slave, bitch or anything else you like. Im willing to do anything to prove I want to be your bitch. I live in Boca Raton and Im willing to do anything you ask. Can I please have a chance at being your bitch mistress?

When I say fine, I can use your cock (thinking that it can possibly be a new cocktoy for fatfuck to suck) I ask for the digits (measurement) and a face and dick photo. I get a myspace page addy and this photo:


The myspace page is devoted to the glorious 5 leafed herb, and all the friends who post messages there, are all herbally inclined. Now when I asked for a cock pic, did he think that meant the snake-as-phallic-symbol? Of course, it must all seem 'chillarious' as I'm sure he has shared my email correspondence with his 'buds'. I've written back a few terse emails, when a friend redirected and suggested I try to titillate him, get him back in that mode, and well, still no response. I'm sure he's in cannabis bliss right now, and can't be bothered to climb out of the rabbit hole.

And this isn't the only smokin' pope who has crossed my path (a la a black cat) this past week. I tried to upgrade Jewfro boy, and make him some more 'cheese', but he wigged on me. Any push to get him to do more than he already is, by showing up at hotel fatfuck to get his kosher meat sucked and his overload alarm goes off. He spends his days off huffing the hookah, and even the allure of more 'cheese' and more cock isn't enough to get him off the sofa.

Adios 420 betas, it's been real. Real defining.

Mr. $uper$exy!!!!

Hey I'm not rich, but am financially independent. I make over $100,000 a year, sometimes up to $200,000. I'm looking for a live-in girlfriend who would dress sexy all the time. Be willing to hold some type of job to make your own "mad" money and feel like you're contributing. You should want to spend most of your time with me. I prefer you be submissive.

Ewwww I mean spewwww. Does this dude live in a trailer? I mean check the carpeting, the paneling. I don't think a vacuum cleaner has ever visited his trailer, let alone a girl. And I bet if he even gets a girl to move in with him, he will just put that poor submissive girl to work and take her paycheck and cash it at AAA Check Cashing to buy weed. She will get to sleep on that cheap, icky sofa. Creepy, he has saved every old computer mouse he has ever owned and keeps them for what, mouse emergencies? And did Granny give him her braided rug to put under the coffee table? Hmmm I think he must've moved the bong before the pic was taken. How does this guy make over $100,000 a year with ancient computer gear? In his dreams? Or does he stash it in grocery bags and throw it in the shed behind the trailer? Scary, scary....

Stinkbob Speaks!!!!

or rather emails....

Sarah I looked for you last night but you weren't on so I sent you a $2.00 tribute because I jerked off to your pictures. Bob

Ewwww the thought of it ewwww spewwww. Stinkbob must be punished now, not for wacking to my pics, but for misspelling my name. Last time I checked, I wasn't Jewish or biblically inclined, thus don't wear the 'h'.

And if you don't know what all the fury is in this post, please click on the label 'Stinkbob' below this post and you will see something scarier than Freddie, The Hills Have Eyes inbreds, Pinhead, Larry King et al....

WOM WAM!

womwam

The new site I am addicted to, you must check it! Totally subversive and fun. The site looks at pop media (tv, films, B movies) in the 50's and 60's and finds many fetishes and Femdomme prevailing themes. Where have they gone?

thx to my friend Sam for showing me the site!

Priceline Negotiator

New slave applicant who I sometimes referred to as Nuts, because he thought he liked having his nuts kicked, has disappeared back into the netherlands of West Palm Beach. I played phone tag with him for awhile after the dinner debacle, but he's got this one-track-mind and now only wants to negotiate licking the starfish and other fetishized body worship of moi. I don't trust him. There's something about him which unnerves me. My antennae vibrate 'alert, alert' when I'm around him. I don't have such alerts when I'm with fatfuck or the toad. Nicole thinks he might try to force sex on me. And since I'm 105 on a good day, to his 180-ish, even in a hotel room, it would be dicey. My sister suggested that I hire Ari (Arion) or another of my service males as a bodyguard and make Nuts pay for this. So I've left him yet another message to call, that I might have a way to work this out. We'll see if he's willing to pay for a 'package deal' at my price, of course.

Shrink Shrank Shrunk

One of my friends pointed out that I had used a picture from a 50's classic film "The Incredible Shrinking Man" in my PMS post. And also told me it was perfect to use on my blog since that film would have to be one of the classic beta loser wimp films of all time. The man shrinks to smaller than a speck, to molecular level, due to a combination of radiation and insecticide poisoning. Even his wife sees him shrink down, he becomes useless to her, in essence, she cucks him. She is, of course, a hot blonde. He has to live in a doll house, how humiliating!

Yes-sir Assfat

This month's Biggest Loser goes to........drumroll.......the person who took this picture! I mean, dude, you are as pathetic as the person who took Stinkbob's picture! OK maybe a little less pathetic that the person who took Stinkbob's picture. This picture and pathetic-ness was submitted by newly nicknamed Yes-sir Assfat who was trying to compete for July's Biggest Loser, but he is such a loser, he couldn't even get his picture and paragraph of shame submitted in time. So now he is August's Biggest Loser. And you may want to ask, in addition to this vision of loveliness, why is he the Biggest Loser this month?

Dear Sara, can I be July's biggest loser. I don't call you very much. I only call when I'm drunk. Bad habit to call phone sex when I'm drunk. Drunk dialing can be expensive. Sometimes I call your recordings. I feel how powerful you are.

I like to wear thongs. They stretch to fit. It's harder for me to wear panties. It makes my little peewee hard. When I'm not drunk. When I'm drunk I get horny, but then my peewee turns into a clit.

The only girls I can get are fat girls. Fat girls at the bar. But I can't really sex them because my little peewee can't get thru all the fat. So I use toys on them and my tongue. I don't know if I'll ever get to have sex again.

Yes-sir is also the biggest loser of the month because his thong label is turned out! And he's wear Timberlands with a thong? That is such a fashion no-no.