Slave Updates

Nicole and I met with Popper one more time for some hotel room domination. He's been begging me for a solo session saying he doesn't want to pay for another Double Domme session right now. Seriously he's a little too weird for me to see alone. I told him he will have to save his Benjamins till he can afford Double the Torment and Double the Fun.

Scuba Do - two weeks ago I met him in a Walgreen's parking lot and sent him in for a matching pink lip gloss and nail polish. I put my bare feet on the steering wheel of his car and when he got back, he had to lick my feet and toes. Then I asked how much $ he had to pay for my presence and I told him it wasn't enough and that he had to go to the ATM for more. He got another $100 from the ATM and then we went thru a McDonald's drive thru for him to get french fries. Which I made him jerk off onto and eat. He kept choking and gagging since he claims gay stuff repulses him, but I secretly know it excites him. I even told him we would have sex if he would suck a cock for me, but what I meant was strapon sex or fucking a Fleshlight, not vanilla sex. Since there's a little bit of Lost in Translation going on between my Spanglish and his Spanish, he assumes he will get to fuck me if he sucks cock for me. I would ask jewfro boy if he would be my stunt cock for scuba do to suck. Surprisingly scuba asked for a few days to think about this. Nicole said I should have slapped him and said, "What, you even have to think about this? Don't you want to have sex with me?"

Nicole saw slave idiot last month. We compare him to a submarine that only occasionally surfaces. Up periscope! If Nicole texts me that, I know that slave idiot is surfacing for some wallet draining and humiliation. Sometimes idiot will do a Double Domme deal and sometimes it's Nicole only. Last month it was Nicole only which was disappointing because idiot is a generous shopping slave and I've been coveting a new purse. Nicole extracted quite a bit from idiot on the shopping trip and then kicked his balls. It's always the same grand finale for idiot. Ballkicking followed by hair sniffing then sock pussy. Nicole cleans out her hairbrush and gives him the natural blonde brushed out hair in a matted up wad that looks like a 70's pussy. So she said she brushed her pussy with the brush to get a little scent on it. She made him sniff the blonde hair and jack his tiny periscope into the dirty sock. slave idiot is fairly rich from what Nicole has found out about him, so he pays a nice amount to Nicole for the privilege of fulfilling his freaky fetishes! And who knows how long he keeps that hair. Maybe he has kept all of hairballs and created a collection ewwwww.

Look the Part, Play the Part

As many of you have been asking for the update on my latest faux girlfriend gig.... Yes, I went as faggyboy Adam's faux girlfriend to his father's 50th birthday shindig. It was a huge event (over the top!) with Adam's family, and his dad's friends and colleagues. At first, I wasn't sure why Adam even needed a faux girlfriend, it didn't seem like I was such a necessity until I met Adam's brother and his brother's hot piece. Then it became clear, this was a duel of the hot piece girlfriends. I had deliberately JAP'd myself up a little bit, glaring nail polish, a trifle more make-up and jewelry. Look the part, play the part. I pulled it off. Adam was clearly gloating, selling his porno collection on Craigslist was worth it, if only for a few hours, to show everyone he was equally capable of having a hottie girlfriend and cast the illusion that he wasn't a loser, until the carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the dress back into rags as he made his way back to his place to find the cotton candy pink-haired bongsucking leech stoned and snoozing on the sofa.

On the Edge

As my faux girlfriend gig approaches, Adam informed me that my paid appearance fee is sitting in the safe at work. What? Why? Because Adam is so compulsive about his weakness for 420, he didn't want to blow the money he made from selling his porn collection on Craigslist a/k/a my faux girlfriend fee, literally, blow it. So he asked the boss at the club to put the money in the safe and not to give it to him for any reason, even if he begged, until the appointed date and only when I show up with him to pick it up and head off to his father's 50th birthday party.

I asked Adam today how his girlfriend feels about not going to the birthday party, solely because Adam didn't want to present the pink-haired, tattoo'd and pierced bongsucking leech as his girlfriend with all his relatives there. He admitted 'hint hint' she's not really his 'girlfriend girlfriend'. So she's a weed whore, was the drift I picked up. Altho she now lives at his apartment, because she'd be homeless otherwise. She cooks, cleans, gives oral, but according to Adam, can't get her act together. Meaning she can't keep a job longer than a few weeks and doesn't spend much time looking for new ones. Her parents had kicked her out of the house and she'd been on the sofa circuit (crashing on different sofas) till she landed on Adam's.

I asked if she had any talents, career goals? He just laughed. She does have some talents, he reported. Yeeeah, of course. But she even got rejected when she sent some pics to apply to be a Suicide Girl! Massive blow to her self-esteem or lack thereof. When she does get a job, he said, instead of kicking him over some money toward rent or bills, she spends the money on body art and ornamentation. I can't imagine a life at 25 where there is no future except watching more tv, occasionally running a vacuum, getting a new tatt or piercing when there's cash and sucking on cock to get to suck on a bong.

Despite my lack of responsibility in certain areas of my life, namely partying, I still have a core, an ethic to work hard, do something with my life and when I see a girl who just has nothing, no core, no work ethic, I wonder how long can she hold out? How long can she play Scheherazade to Adam's Persian King before he gets bored or tired of her bullshit. Before she ends up getting kicked out of his place, sleeping on the beach and working a corner where the cars slow down to check out the merchandise.

Oh Faux!!!!

Faggyboy 420er Adam has asked if I can show up to a family event with him, a 50th birthday party for his father, because he needs a presentable girlfriend instead of his current pink-haired, tattooed and pierced bongsucking leech. He also asked if I could pretend I was Jewish!!!! Sara will pass as a Jewish name, but my last name no. He told me to use the last name Cohen if asked. Oy vey! Of course, this is a paid appearance and it's 3 few weeks off yet, so I can prepare for my faux-ery. I couldn't believe the dollar amount he offered me, because Adam always plays poor. However, he gleefully reported he had sold his entire porn DVD collection on Craigslist. He said there's enough free porn on the net and doesn't need his DVD porn anymore. So true!

Casa del Fatfuck Part Tres

I made another visit to my slave who is recuping from QBS (quadruple bypass surgery). Part Tres featured a surprise: bringing faggyboy Adam (aka jewfro boy), fatfuck's designated cocksuckee with me, posing as my faux boyfriend in case the guardian to the gates of fatfuck's money, better known as Mrs. Fatfuck, was in the hacienda. Prompting a fag on how to play straight was really hard to do, because while Adam claims to be bi, he's really a fag, and tends to put together outfits that are gay, so I had to school him on what to wear to this event and how to act. Faggyboy got paid $100, basically I cut him $100 out of my appearance fee. I should make more appearances! My cover story: I work as a staff girl in one of fatfuck's offices. I never worked for fatfuck, my sister did and reported that he hired only hotties (after all we are talking about plastic surgery offices, so image is important) and fatfuck liked to terrorize his staff, which was why when my sister finally turned the tables on him and enslaved him, it was sweet revenge. So it would not be out of the realm of possibility, that I could work for fatfuck, or that Mrs. Fatfuck would not be surprised by the hotness of any of the staff showing up to cheer up the old fat fuck.

Fatfuck was pretty jovial and looked much healthier than he had before. He had his laptop and widescreen and ipod and a few books laying around to keep him busy, he better be worshipping me on the laptop since I emailed pics of me, no nakey ones, lest I tip his BP too high.

We didn't run into the Mrs. Fatfuck creature, but we did encounter one of the junior fatfucks who is in his last year of med school. I am now calling him Whopper Junior. He was cordial to us and thanked us for visiting his father, clueing us in that his father is quite bored and wants to be back in the swing of things. Speaking of the swing of things, Whopper Junior invited us to a pool party he and Whopper (other fatfuck junior) were going to be holding this weekend, but before Adam could open his faggy mouth, I said my boyfriend (I almost vom'd when I said that word) and I already had plans to go windsurfing. Wow, Whopper Junior said, that takes so much skill, I've tried waterskiing and wakeboarding and parasailing but I admit watersports aren't my thing. Now I could have vom'd again at the irony, because watersports of the other kind are his father's thing, so just wait Whopper Junior, just wait.

420 Betas


I am so tired of beta males who smoke the ganja. They are totally useless. Their motivation has left the building, along with Fat Elvis. When the 420's get a tiny hint of a chubber, they write me emails like:

Hello my names Derek Im a 21 year old college student at xxxxxU and I would love to be your bi bitch and spoil you anyway you like. Id love to learn more about you and what your looking for and do anything to just be your bitch. Ill be your cuck, slave, bitch or anything else you like. Im willing to do anything to prove I want to be your bitch. I live in Boca Raton and Im willing to do anything you ask. Can I please have a chance at being your bitch mistress?

When I say fine, I can use your cock (thinking that it can possibly be a new cocktoy for fatfuck to suck) I ask for the digits (measurement) and a face and dick photo. I get a myspace page addy and this photo:


The myspace page is devoted to the glorious 5 leafed herb, and all the friends who post messages there, are all herbally inclined. Now when I asked for a cock pic, did he think that meant the snake-as-phallic-symbol? Of course, it must all seem 'chillarious' as I'm sure he has shared my email correspondence with his 'buds'. I've written back a few terse emails, when a friend redirected and suggested I try to titillate him, get him back in that mode, and well, still no response. I'm sure he's in cannabis bliss right now, and can't be bothered to climb out of the rabbit hole.

And this isn't the only smokin' pope who has crossed my path (a la a black cat) this past week. I tried to upgrade Jewfro boy, and make him some more 'cheese', but he wigged on me. Any push to get him to do more than he already is, by showing up at hotel fatfuck to get his kosher meat sucked and his overload alarm goes off. He spends his days off huffing the hookah, and even the allure of more 'cheese' and more cock isn't enough to get him off the sofa.

Adios 420 betas, it's been real. Real defining.

INJECT my G-SPOT with WHAT?????

Today was fatfuck Wednesday, not a long session either as fatfuck is very busy mobilizing a new injectible Restylane campaign. Injecting g-spots. Injecting G-SPOTS? I almost fainted in the hotel room. That's fucked up, I said. Well, the word is out on Restylane being this new orgazzmic miracle. So what does it exactly do? I ask. Apparently, it helps women become orgasmic, more orgasmic or multi-orgasmic.

All I can picture is something icky and gynecological, putting your legs in the stirrups, having that medieval speculum torture device inserted and doctor injecting your G. Fatfuck offers a freebie if I want to try it. I really don't want fatfuck looking into my pink depths and sticking a needle in there?

Luckily, this icky spell was broken when stunt cockboy arrived, so fatfuck could suck him off and hurry away to inject G-spots. Ironic, that fatfuck will be helping women to have mo' better Big O's when he never sticks his weenie into a vadge anymore, let alone that his little weenie probably never hit a G-spot ever.