Bi Means Gay You Faggots!

Adam, who I used to sling cocktails with at the clubaroo, would always tell everyone he was bi. He actually even had a quasi-girlfriend for a while, a pink haired bong sucking leech who left him for a chick! Yeah, how humiliating is that when your so-called girlfriend leaves you for a chick. Adam has a big 8" dick, so he's not a dickless fag, but she left him because she preferred chicks over dicks. But back to Adam. I told him he had to stop saying he was bi, because he never had a real girlfriend, just a lezbo who was using him for weed and a place to live. He claims he's attracted to girls, but I told him he just wants to look like one, and one nite I told him his destiny was to become a shemale! Adam is skinny with a cute butt, naturally tan skin, thick dark hair, long eyelashes, he would make the perfect shemale with a nice big thick dick. He was shocked at first, but admitted that he sometimes dressed up in the pink haired lezzie girl's clothes just to see what he'd look like as a girl. Uh huh I knew it. He had also been told by some old queen who pays to blow Adam, that Adam would be better as a twink or a tranny. Hey, if the shoe fits, or rather if the platform wedgie fits, wear it! But Adam says his family would freak if he was anything but a boy. Still, his family suspects he's a fag. I guess he better hire one of my girlfriends to be his fake GF for the next big family shindig!

XXXmas Update!

fatfuck

Everyone has been asking what's going on with all of our slaves, especially re: XXXmas. Since Chanukah is over, ff can get back on his schedule in serving me! He has promised to make up for his nearly 2 week absence due to family and other holiday responsibilities. And let me tell you how he's going to make it up to me! With $$$$. That fat fucker. He better take me shopping or hand over the cash. And he will be sucking Adam's big fat cock too. Yes, the only sex fatfuck has now is cocksucking. He hasn't had sex with Mrs. fatfuck in years.

nuts

Nuts better go nuts over me for XXXmas or his chestnuts will be roasted over an open fire. I have a ballkicking and CBT date set up for this Wednesday afternoon. But shopping cums first, because he's too debilitated after our intense sessions to do anything but curl up and cry. What shall I make him buy me? Why more high heels to impale him with of course!

slave idiot

Nicole's slave idiot is truly pathetic. Nicole made him get her a new sofa for her condo because her dumb cat Bubbles scratched her old one. The new sofa was really expensive. She was worried he'd cancel the charge before it got delivered, but it showed up haha. But what thanks did idiot get for buying Nicole a sexy sofa for her to get fucked on by real men? Well he had to lick the tires of his car, I'm not talking the wheels or the sides, I'm talking the treads! Then she got in his car with him and made him do his usually "sock pussy" where he jerks off into a dirty sock. And he gets to sniff her "pussy" which means she cleans out her hairbrush and he gets to sniff her natural blonde hair. Of course he pays for all of this "pussy" action. I'm sure this is the closest to real pussy slave idiot has gotten in years.

Also, Nicole dropped her precious iphone in the toilet. Do they have an app for an iphone to float or tread water? Idiot had originally bought her iphone and she was going to make him buy her another. Luckily for idiot, he had put some kind of insurance plan on her phone because he must have had slave ESP that Nicole would eventually drop it and ruin it. Slave idiot probably saved a few hundred bucks. I imagine it was cheaper to insure than buy her a new one. So she got her replacement iphone courtesy of idiot too. She promised to call idiot when she's getting fucked on her new sofa so he can hear the hot fucking and be totally cuckolded. What a cuckold loser! But a cuckold loser with money!

slave kweer

Nicole's slave kweer has disappeared. oh well, they cum and they go, right?

ash slave

Nicki's slave (not to be confused with Nicole) ash slave is totally comatose 99% of the time. The guy is a raging alkie and probably starts his morning with vodka in fresh-squeezed orange juice or rather orange juice in his vodka. He is almost twice Nicki's age and loves Nicki and calls her his "Goddess". And he does spoil his Goddess too by shopping for her every week. The stupid slave has a lame scarf fetish. Too bad he doesn't have a more useful fetish like high heels or something Nicki could really use. I told her she better not be giving me a useless scarf for XXXmas even though he buys super expensive ones. Well if the scarf came with a receipt, I'd return it and get something I wanted, so maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea....

Ember's Loser Dating Service

Ember is making more $ now than she did when she had a job. She looks for the biggest losers on dating sites and offers to date them, for a price. Of course she looks for spendy ones. And they don't mind spending money on a date, it's like all factored in, right(?) to pay for a girl to even show up, a pretty girl, one who will listen to their pathetic life story and pretend to care. Ember still has Loser Lee on the hook, and a few more losers who keep her busy with dinner and movie dates and now XXXmas shopping dates! Ember says they love to see her trying on stuff and picking out stuff, it probably makes them pop a little boner to be seen in public with a (potentially) real girlfriend! Damn that Ember, she stole my Faux Dating Service and turned it into a Loser Dating Service and is raking in the dough-dough.

So now I think I have everyone caught up on all of our slaves and losers. Tis the season to be naughty or spendy!

Nicole's Slave KWEER

Poley Coley has been sending kweer to the gloryhole-y to service cocks, but his latest kink was that he wanted her to watch. While Coley swings around a pussy-slimed poley, she didn't want to get crotch cooties or venture beneath her station to the adult sexstore to witness kweer's suction power. So she asked if she could borrow my stunt cock Adam. I agreed, but reminded her that when I needed to do a photo shoot with a slave, and toad and fatfuck chickened out on me, she wouldn't let me borrow her (former) slave josephine. So, for borrowing Adam, she would owe me...something! Coley could not dispute this, so she agreed to get me 'something' next time we go shopping.

So now Adam is making some more spendy stuff, as he is the stunt cock for both fatfuck and kweer. And Adam still claims to be bi! Weak! The only thing keeping him from gay is his pink-haired beard girlfriend leeching off him for a place to live among other perks. They don't have sex, tho she will occasionally demonstrate her suction power on his big kosher meat. Nevertheless, Adam seeks no gay action on his own, he dreams of meeting an old rich queen, a la Elton John, who will whisk him away to his castle and bestow him with credit cards, a new car, etc. I have that same fantasy, except I dream of a cuckold....

Look the Part, Play the Part

As many of you have been asking for the update on my latest faux girlfriend gig.... Yes, I went as faggyboy Adam's faux girlfriend to his father's 50th birthday shindig. It was a huge event (over the top!) with Adam's family, and his dad's friends and colleagues. At first, I wasn't sure why Adam even needed a faux girlfriend, it didn't seem like I was such a necessity until I met Adam's brother and his brother's hot piece. Then it became clear, this was a duel of the hot piece girlfriends. I had deliberately JAP'd myself up a little bit, glaring nail polish, a trifle more make-up and jewelry. Look the part, play the part. I pulled it off. Adam was clearly gloating, selling his porno collection on Craigslist was worth it, if only for a few hours, to show everyone he was equally capable of having a hottie girlfriend and cast the illusion that he wasn't a loser, until the carriage turned back into a pumpkin and the dress back into rags as he made his way back to his place to find the cotton candy pink-haired bongsucking leech stoned and snoozing on the sofa.

On the Edge

As my faux girlfriend gig approaches, Adam informed me that my paid appearance fee is sitting in the safe at work. What? Why? Because Adam is so compulsive about his weakness for 420, he didn't want to blow the money he made from selling his porn collection on Craigslist a/k/a my faux girlfriend fee, literally, blow it. So he asked the boss at the club to put the money in the safe and not to give it to him for any reason, even if he begged, until the appointed date and only when I show up with him to pick it up and head off to his father's 50th birthday party.

I asked Adam today how his girlfriend feels about not going to the birthday party, solely because Adam didn't want to present the pink-haired, tattoo'd and pierced bongsucking leech as his girlfriend with all his relatives there. He admitted 'hint hint' she's not really his 'girlfriend girlfriend'. So she's a weed whore, was the drift I picked up. Altho she now lives at his apartment, because she'd be homeless otherwise. She cooks, cleans, gives oral, but according to Adam, can't get her act together. Meaning she can't keep a job longer than a few weeks and doesn't spend much time looking for new ones. Her parents had kicked her out of the house and she'd been on the sofa circuit (crashing on different sofas) till she landed on Adam's.

I asked if she had any talents, career goals? He just laughed. She does have some talents, he reported. Yeeeah, of course. But she even got rejected when she sent some pics to apply to be a Suicide Girl! Massive blow to her self-esteem or lack thereof. When she does get a job, he said, instead of kicking him over some money toward rent or bills, she spends the money on body art and ornamentation. I can't imagine a life at 25 where there is no future except watching more tv, occasionally running a vacuum, getting a new tatt or piercing when there's cash and sucking on cock to get to suck on a bong.

Despite my lack of responsibility in certain areas of my life, namely partying, I still have a core, an ethic to work hard, do something with my life and when I see a girl who just has nothing, no core, no work ethic, I wonder how long can she hold out? How long can she play Scheherazade to Adam's Persian King before he gets bored or tired of her bullshit. Before she ends up getting kicked out of his place, sleeping on the beach and working a corner where the cars slow down to check out the merchandise.

Oh Faux!!!!

Faggyboy 420er Adam has asked if I can show up to a family event with him, a 50th birthday party for his father, because he needs a presentable girlfriend instead of his current pink-haired, tattooed and pierced bongsucking leech. He also asked if I could pretend I was Jewish!!!! Sara will pass as a Jewish name, but my last name no. He told me to use the last name Cohen if asked. Oy vey! Of course, this is a paid appearance and it's 3 few weeks off yet, so I can prepare for my faux-ery. I couldn't believe the dollar amount he offered me, because Adam always plays poor. However, he gleefully reported he had sold his entire porn DVD collection on Craigslist. He said there's enough free porn on the net and doesn't need his DVD porn anymore. So true!