Bye Bye Lexus!!!

One of my Niteflirt weak willed wimps is back. Guzzling Two Gingers like it's Ginger Ale and on the edge of financial ruination. This laundromat bra bandit a/k/a slave Bra Bandit is such a chronic stroker that he has a jerk off room in his house which features a recliner with a wide screen tv for porn viewing, boxes to stash all of the bras he's stolen and huge industrial sized jars of vaseline that he fucks or uses gob fulls to jack with. He also admits that like slave Idiot, he yanks off to his Visa bill every month with the innumerable strip club and Niteflirt charges. He lives in titillation and trepidation that Nicole and I are going to take some of his financial burden away. Specifically, his house, his car and his 401K. I told him, let's go for the car first. Judith, one of my sister's friends, is a lesbian divorce lawyer, and only represents wives in divorce proceedings. She gets super excited about relieving weak men of their money or assets. Judith is on the alert to write whatever contract we need to take this luxury ride away from the petroleum jelly jerker.

Here is a summary of my text messages with Judith earlier today:

Judith was in Napa Valley w/ her gf winetasting & they had been in San Francisco for New Year's

Me: Jude this is a weird question but what is your bra size incl cup

Judith: That is privileged information

Me: Would you sell one of her bras? How much?

Judith: Ok this has to be for one of your losers

{Pause}

Judith: My bras are not for men!

Me: Hahaha

{Pause}

Me: He would sell his Lexus for one of your bras and a jar of vaseline

Judith: SOLD!

Me: This is Nicole's and my loser. He sold the Mustang and now has a Lexus

Judith: We must get this car from the stupid fuck!