My Funny Valentines


fatfuck

Fatfuck promised and delivered on a short shopping spree. I had liked some of the handbags at Coach when I went there to shop for Mrs. Fuck as fatfuck's personal holiday shopper. I definitely knew I needed a wallet and handbag upgrade. So fatfuck paid for my new wallet and handbag and didn't blink as he knew he'd be smacked if he did. I was also coveting a new bikini, but I'll hit him for that next.

kidney bean

Is hanging with the guys this weekend as he isn't on call, golfing and whatever else nerdy docs do. He has managed to escape my strap-on so far. He wanted to take me to dinner on V-Day, I told him he wasn't my Valentine.

Mr. Maserati

Sent Nicki more nauseating flowers which Nicki is re-gifting hahaha. Nicki is back on the prowl. Mr. Maserati is an unbearable bore.

Jesse

Poor Jesse has no Valentine. And he just has no clue how to romance a girl, which leads right back to why Jesse has no Valentine, also he truly is Poor Jesse, but who cares about that when he's hot and has OchoCinco inches? He asked if I wanted to hang out on Valentine's Day, nite that is, maybe watch some of the Winter Olympics, drink some wine. This means in Jesse speak: do you wanna fuck? I don't have time to watch the Olympics and drink some wine, but maybe I'll text him at some point if I'm horny enough to put up with his sad puppy face.

Nicole

Is breaking out all her red stripper gear. Maybe all the lonelyhearts will be out in full force, waving their dollar bills like white "I Surrender" flags. Nicole usually cleans up on V-Day.

Ember Wins, She Always Wins

Ember booked 2 dates on V-Day! Bitch! Early Date and Late Date. And both of them are paid dates. Loser Lee is Late Date, one of her other wimpy losers who I don't know much about is Early Date. All I know is that she is getting $700 between the two dates. I think I am going to go back to being a faux girlfriend. For profit! Fuck Kidney Bean! Literally and figuratively. There are plenty of guys out there who would beg for my strap-on and pay for it! I'm sick of these bitchbois dicking around with me, just to be in my presence and possibly try to top me from the bottom. Waste of my time. I'm setting a V-Day Resolution. It's about me and $$$ from now on!