Blame it on the Leather

Since quite a few of you have asked, what did fatfuck get me for XXXmas, call it a holiday gift, since he's Jewish....

Yes, fatfuck was my biggest holiday contributor, in cash that is, he paid via meeting up with me in a Coach store. I love the smell of the Coach Leather Goods store, I couldn't work there, the smell of leather is just too intoxicating for me, I'd be in a perennial sexual swoon.

Apparently, in the Fuck household, it is traditional to do the one gift each nite of Hanukkah. Fatfuck, who never plans ahead in such matters, was picking up another gift for Mrs. Fuck every day. Jewelry, scarf, an orchid for her collection, etc etc. On the 8th day he had run out of ideas, so he offered to give me my holiday cash and begged me to help him with the final gift of the holiday. So I told him to meet me at the Coach store at an appointed time. Fatfuck now has a 'driver' due to his heart condition. At the appointed time, Fatfuck appeared, handed me my cash and I showed him the handbag I had selected for Mrs. Fuck. Perhaps I should have charged a personal shopper's fee in addition???

I picked the fugliest handbag, but later I realized the error of my ways. I should have listened to Nicki. I was talking to her on my cell, she said, if you think it's fugly, she will probably like it! So pick something you like, so she will hate it!

I felt like slipping a note inside the handbag before fatfuck arrived: Your husband is a FAGELE! He sucks cock. He licks my ARSCH! I missed my golden (no pun intended) opportunity.