Cruise

I am married and 48. I am nice looking, people say I look just like Pat Boone. I own a series of 3 businesses. I am married to a wonderful woman who unfortunately is romantically apathetic. I am looking for a relationship with someone who wants to see me and vice versa.

I do have one immediate issue. I was for a brief period of time in a relationship with a wonderful young woman. Unfortunately, she has decided to supplement her income in other ways. I recently booked a 10 day Hawaii cruise that I am hoping to find someone who would like to accompany me. It would be a very lonely cruise for one.

How can Pat Cruise get away from wifey for 10+ days on his Hawaiian cruise....hmmmm....he must have concocted a little lie that he won the Sales Rep of the Year award, but the trip is solo. Pat Cruise is a drug peddler aka pharmaceutical sales rep. So I have an excellent idea for him. He still gets to go to Hawaii, but Nicole and I go on the cruise, while he sleeps on beaches. So Cruise can go on an economy Hawaiian vacay.

Do we have a sales contest for him! Cruise will be selling Viagra tabs to tourists. $40 a pop sounds good. He'll have to wear all light blue, like everyone in those Viagra commercials. You know: light blue shorts, light blue flip-flops, a straw hat with a light blue bandana, he'll be a walking subliminal Viagra advertisement.

At first I was feeling generous and thinking we should let Cruise have a per diem, but now the more I think about it, I think, nawwww. He can wash up in the ocean with a bar of hotel soap. He can dumpster dive at the Jack-in-the-Box. Or beg for leftovers at luaus, maybe he'll have to suck some big Samoan dicks for shrimp peels while the hula girls laugh at him. Meanwhile Nicole and I are kicking it on our cruise, spending most of our time in the ship's casino or making old shriveled prunes pay to watch me and Nicole scissor-leg and clam-dig. Then we take the $$$ right back to the casino. Hopefully, we win there and our salesman back on the island sells all his little blue pills and makes us far richer than when we left Miami.