Toads are from Holes

Nicole was swinging around a pole stuffing the green into her g-string on Thursday nite, so she didn't catch up with me till Friday about the lameness of toad's list. But she didn't think I could have expected more from the little toad. Nicole: It is too much for a little toad brain. Even 4 things were probably really scary for him. But I do think he wanted you to read the list at dinner, because...maybe he wanted to do one of them that nite, maybe he came to dinner with a cash hard-on!

And you know, Nicole may be right. Maybe he wanted a kiss or to see my breasts quickly in the car or something. Or maybe he just thought his list was perfect, that I would love it and blow him a kiss and tell him on May 31st all of his dreams can come true. I don't know.

But he also told me as he was cleaning my apartment earlier today, that he was going to buy some 'relationship' books and read them so he could be better to me. He felt awful for overlooking our anniversary and for his list being rejected. Hmmmm, I don't want him wasting so much time reading when he can be doing more beneficial things with his time, as in beneficial to me, plus he might discover, in these relationship books, that we don't have a 'relationship' at all. But there was one book my sister thought of, one and only one book that I demand he read, an older book called: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Because she said, the book was more about communication between men and women and expectations that women have of men blablabla. That the book will only confuse the toad, it's from the 90's, it's outdated, with his toad brain capacity, he probably won't finish it, but at least he will be more confused about relationships than ever!