TOAD on VIAGRA???


I have been telling toad that I haven't been feeling like myself lately, that I have lost 3 pounds, true, and 3 pounds are precious when you're dropping closer to 100, that I feel tired all the time, and that my periods are just draining me, taking 10 days out of my life every month, what with PMS, killer cramps and bleeding time. I have to pop iron pills to stave off anemia. I have told toad that he will have to suffer in sympathetic resonance to my time-of-the-month by wearing kotex pads, which he negotiated down to panty liners, since he was afraid that the squishing noise of the diaper-like pad would be too apparent. Also he keeps asking me, what if he gets into a car accident while wearing his panties, CB2000 and mini-pad and they take him to the hospital and everyone sees his secret shame??

My sister, remember she's a nurse, has regaled me with stories of what people have come into the E.R. wearing or stuffed in different orifices. No one cares toad, I told him. Which is only partially true. During the acute emergency, the patient is attended to, but after the crisis is over, at 6 a.m., when everyone is standing around chit-chatting about the overnite shift's cases, everyone does get a little kick out of the panty-wearing, locked up or frozen hot dog up the arse fagboys. What most people don't know about the anal insertions, my sister says, that what goes up will come down, most likely, with their next bowel movement, but most people panic and want it out now. And they, in their moment of hysteria, put aside all dignity.

What my sister has found most amusing of late, are the number of men coming in with priapism, you know 'the erection lasting longer than 4 hours', due to the rampant use of the little blue pill and its pharmaceutical cousins. Some are quite proud of their priapic state, since when if ever did their dick garner so much attention? But my sister reports that almost as soon as they see the nurse roll in a stainless steel cart with a set of needles and catheters, from veterinary gauge to elephantine, their erection mysteriously disappears. We don't have to inject too many of the dicks, she laughs. It just goes to show you 'mind over matter'. Or the moral of the story: Dicks don't mind having hard-ons for hours.

I've thought of making toad take a little blue pill while wearing his dickie cage, the cruelty of it! Alas I'm not that cruel. But I do have toad believing that I am frail, weary from working and studying and lack of sleep, and that it is his fault! After all, I shouldn't have to do be a cocktail serving wench, he should have me on retainer by now. But he is waiting for his lot to sell, and the one rental property to get to settlement, which will take about 6 - 8 weeks, too long! I can't wait that long I told him. I have a faux doctor's appointment this week. Who knows what he will recommend I cry to the toad. I have toad in a mini-manic state of trying to do things for me to make my life easier. It's fun seeing toad scurry. But currency is better.