XXXmas
My family is a little bizarre about their choice of XXXmas entertainment. Instead of watching A Christmas Story or claymation Rudolph, we watch Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, true Christmas Classics! As far as the latter, this is because my Mom has a crush on vintage Mel Gibson, not the grizzled crazy drunk he has become. I'm not sure why we watch Die Hard, except my Mom is entrenched in the 80's, her heyday, back when she was my age, and yes, kinda hot. So let me make your mouth water....not about my Mom perv! About my Mom's cooking:
Menu:
Roast Pork seasoned with Rosemary <---Mom
Potatoes au Gratin <--- Mom
Fresh Green Beans <---- Sara
Cole Slaw <---- Sara
Rolls <---- Sara
Vino <--- Mom
Pecan Pie <--- Mom
Topped with Haagen Dazs French Vanilla Ice Cream <--- Sara
Leftovers <--- Sara and Sara's kitties (they even eat cole slaw and green beans!!!)
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Idiotic
slave idiot took Nicole shopping this afternoon. I was unable to go on this shopping spree as I had a lunch date. Don't choke, it was with a dyke, one of my ex-prof's from school. Then I had to meet with my bosslady after lunch plus do some XXXmas shopping for my family and friends. I know most of you are wondering if the dyke hit on me, she was solicitous, but totally professional. It was more of a business-y lunch, nevertheless, I'm sure she wondered what it would be like if I sat on her face for dessert.
That bitch Nicole raked it. Damn. I don't even have a spendy XXXmas slave, I have a Jewish scrooge whose shrew wife has him by the pubes for their holidays and parties and spending time with his sons who are on winter break from med school.
Poor Jesse (and the adjective is very appropriate) wants to meet up with me later tonite. I think he wants to play hide the large penis in one of Sara's hiding places. Not that I don't like playing the game, but I'm "in a mood" as my Mom used to call it. And I think I'll take it out on Jesse! Poor Jesse doesn't know what he's in for....
slave idiot took Nicole shopping this afternoon. I was unable to go on this shopping spree as I had a lunch date. Don't choke, it was with a dyke, one of my ex-prof's from school. Then I had to meet with my bosslady after lunch plus do some XXXmas shopping for my family and friends. I know most of you are wondering if the dyke hit on me, she was solicitous, but totally professional. It was more of a business-y lunch, nevertheless, I'm sure she wondered what it would be like if I sat on her face for dessert.
That bitch Nicole raked it. Damn. I don't even have a spendy XXXmas slave, I have a Jewish scrooge whose shrew wife has him by the pubes for their holidays and parties and spending time with his sons who are on winter break from med school.
Poor Jesse (and the adjective is very appropriate) wants to meet up with me later tonite. I think he wants to play hide the large penis in one of Sara's hiding places. Not that I don't like playing the game, but I'm "in a mood" as my Mom used to call it. And I think I'll take it out on Jesse! Poor Jesse doesn't know what he's in for....
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
fatfucked
fatfuck was in for a surprise at his biweekly ball-beating as I hollywood dry fucked Jesse right in front of him. I had texted fatfuck earlier in the week:
tis the season 2b generous fucking kike (he loves jew-miliation)
dont scrooge me @ Xmas jewboy bring mo $$
Jesse, alas poor Jesse. He was having a 'hard' time maintaining his erection. The pressure was on for him to perform and fatfuck was the literal elephant in the room. Boner killer. Dick deflater. I finally had to fluff Jesse then climb on top and ride a softie and scream and bounce and shake the bed and fake my orgasm while orchestrating Jesse's faux "O". You're cumming right, right? Yes? Yes! Ohhhhh aahhhh yessss cummmmm. I heard the elephant heave and ho. The circus fucking event was thankfully over.
Jesse was then like: I um have to go and ummmm ok bye.... Bye babe, I said, practically roflmao (inside joke). I then kicked out fatfuck and took a shower. $1,000 clams = my new laptop.
fatfuck was in for a surprise at his biweekly ball-beating as I hollywood dry fucked Jesse right in front of him. I had texted fatfuck earlier in the week:
tis the season 2b generous fucking kike (he loves jew-miliation)
dont scrooge me @ Xmas jewboy bring mo $$
Jesse, alas poor Jesse. He was having a 'hard' time maintaining his erection. The pressure was on for him to perform and fatfuck was the literal elephant in the room. Boner killer. Dick deflater. I finally had to fluff Jesse then climb on top and ride a softie and scream and bounce and shake the bed and fake my orgasm while orchestrating Jesse's faux "O". You're cumming right, right? Yes? Yes! Ohhhhh aahhhh yessss cummmmm. I heard the elephant heave and ho. The circus fucking event was thankfully over.
Jesse was then like: I um have to go and ummmm ok bye.... Bye babe, I said, practically roflmao (inside joke). I then kicked out fatfuck and took a shower. $1,000 clams = my new laptop.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
The Price of Pussy
In our convo, Nicole also wanted to know what was going on with Jesse as she knew I was to meet up with his ass after shopping with the idiot. Nicole had to workee at the club. But I was free for a bit before popping onto Niteflirt. Jesse had insisted by all media, i.e., email, text and voicemail that he had broken up with the girlfriend. While I'm sure he was recycling all of his ex-pussies, and I was just one of the slits* he was pursuing, he was the best fuck I'd ever had. He also had the perfect cock.
*typo, I meant to write sluts, but slits is actually pretty slutty!
So in a moment of Mojito-induced weakness, I had texted Jesse while Nicole was checking out luggage and he responded and we set up a meeting time 'n' place. I only kiss guys when I'm drinking, preferably drunk, so I actually kissed him when I met up with him at the hotel bar. He bought me another Mojito, uh oh. I knew he was trying to get into my panties, but he needed to do more work than buy me a drink to earn back pussy privileges.
I told Jesse he would have to fuck me in front of fatfuck and I would keep all of fatfuck's cash. No cut for Jesse. Jesse had backed out of this fucking arrangement before, like a year ago, necessitating that I bring in Arion for the fucking and then Arion couldn't even cum, he faked it, because having the fatfuck walrus stare at us fucking was too much pressure. I later joked to Arion that cock size aside, he would not have made a good porn star.
So Jesse agreed and I texted fatfuck in front of Jesse, so Jesse would realize I wasn't fucking around. Fatfuck was probably out to dinner with wifey on Friday nite, I could just picture him reading and responding to my text in front of the shrew. He probably popped a little vienna sausagette in his pants. So we are fucking on for this Wednesday.
And as far as the Price of Pussy, Pussy can set her Price....
In our convo, Nicole also wanted to know what was going on with Jesse as she knew I was to meet up with his ass after shopping with the idiot. Nicole had to workee at the club. But I was free for a bit before popping onto Niteflirt. Jesse had insisted by all media, i.e., email, text and voicemail that he had broken up with the girlfriend. While I'm sure he was recycling all of his ex-pussies, and I was just one of the slits* he was pursuing, he was the best fuck I'd ever had. He also had the perfect cock.
*typo, I meant to write sluts, but slits is actually pretty slutty!
So in a moment of Mojito-induced weakness, I had texted Jesse while Nicole was checking out luggage and he responded and we set up a meeting time 'n' place. I only kiss guys when I'm drinking, preferably drunk, so I actually kissed him when I met up with him at the hotel bar. He bought me another Mojito, uh oh. I knew he was trying to get into my panties, but he needed to do more work than buy me a drink to earn back pussy privileges.
I told Jesse he would have to fuck me in front of fatfuck and I would keep all of fatfuck's cash. No cut for Jesse. Jesse had backed out of this fucking arrangement before, like a year ago, necessitating that I bring in Arion for the fucking and then Arion couldn't even cum, he faked it, because having the fatfuck walrus stare at us fucking was too much pressure. I later joked to Arion that cock size aside, he would not have made a good porn star.
So Jesse agreed and I texted fatfuck in front of Jesse, so Jesse would realize I wasn't fucking around. Fatfuck was probably out to dinner with wifey on Friday nite, I could just picture him reading and responding to my text in front of the shrew. He probably popped a little vienna sausagette in his pants. So we are fucking on for this Wednesday.
And as far as the Price of Pussy, Pussy can set her Price....
Strange Dance
Nicole just called, funny how I must have summoned pure evil when I posted about her just a few minutes ago.
Nicole: Do you think we will burn out idiot again? Are we going too much too fast?
Me: Hell no, we have to get as much as possible from him before he gets his credit card statement or realizes how much he's spent and runs away again to lick his wounds. It happens all the time on Niteflirt. The money piggy slaves come running back when they want to play again. It's a strange dance.
Nicole: Yeah, it happens at the club too. It's like they're manic.
Me: I don't think they're manic depressives chemically, but they follow that curve. Mania followed by deep depression. Desire and regret. So while they're manic, we need to suck 'em dry.
Nicole: I left a message for idiot to call me. Let's see what we can suck out of him next.
Nicole just called, funny how I must have summoned pure evil when I posted about her just a few minutes ago.
Nicole: Do you think we will burn out idiot again? Are we going too much too fast?
Me: Hell no, we have to get as much as possible from him before he gets his credit card statement or realizes how much he's spent and runs away again to lick his wounds. It happens all the time on Niteflirt. The money piggy slaves come running back when they want to play again. It's a strange dance.
Nicole: Yeah, it happens at the club too. It's like they're manic.
Me: I don't think they're manic depressives chemically, but they follow that curve. Mania followed by deep depression. Desire and regret. So while they're manic, we need to suck 'em dry.
Nicole: I left a message for idiot to call me. Let's see what we can suck out of him next.
Leather Crazed!
Nicole and I met the idiot Friday evening for drinks and mayhem. Idiot was sweating, because he knew this would not be cheap. Nicole asked why he was such a pussyboy before. Idiot admitted that strong women scared him. He claimed he would date submissive women, women who admired his physique (guffaw, maybe years ago, when idiot was a weightlifting type). But he had always been attracted to physically strong or bitchy women. But he said he clashed with them. Which is hard to believe because idiot, while a narcissist, is a real pussy.
So we all had some Mojitos and then Nicole kicked idiot in the balls as he was getting out of his SUV, he knew this was coming, so he kind of crouched in dread. Oh man, oh man, that hurt, that hurt, but I guess I deserve it, idiot whined. You KNOW you deserve it, Nicole clarified.
Idiot took us shopping. Nicole bought new luggage, a whole set! And I got a new handbag. Nicole was plotting. Now she wants to make idiot pay for her to take a little vacay, sans idiot, altho idiot is begging to go wherever Nicole goes, like a little puppydog. Idiot's Amex took about a $1,200 hit between drinks, luggage, handbag. I love the smell of new leather. I need a leather slave to get me new shoes and handbags and belts and leather jackets and whips and skirt and.... I could go on but will stop myself before I get too leather crazed.
Nicole and I met the idiot Friday evening for drinks and mayhem. Idiot was sweating, because he knew this would not be cheap. Nicole asked why he was such a pussyboy before. Idiot admitted that strong women scared him. He claimed he would date submissive women, women who admired his physique (guffaw, maybe years ago, when idiot was a weightlifting type). But he had always been attracted to physically strong or bitchy women. But he said he clashed with them. Which is hard to believe because idiot, while a narcissist, is a real pussy.
So we all had some Mojitos and then Nicole kicked idiot in the balls as he was getting out of his SUV, he knew this was coming, so he kind of crouched in dread. Oh man, oh man, that hurt, that hurt, but I guess I deserve it, idiot whined. You KNOW you deserve it, Nicole clarified.
Idiot took us shopping. Nicole bought new luggage, a whole set! And I got a new handbag. Nicole was plotting. Now she wants to make idiot pay for her to take a little vacay, sans idiot, altho idiot is begging to go wherever Nicole goes, like a little puppydog. Idiot's Amex took about a $1,200 hit between drinks, luggage, handbag. I love the smell of new leather. I need a leather slave to get me new shoes and handbags and belts and leather jackets and whips and skirt and.... I could go on but will stop myself before I get too leather crazed.
Friday, December 05, 2008
Slave Idiot is Back!
What a glutton for punishment. Nicole and I scared his fat ass away before. We told him he will pay for running for the exit sign last time. We are meeting with the idiot Friday early evening-ish to punish his soul and also his wallet. I think for idiot, having 2 pretty dominant girls (lack of punctuational pun intended) suck some goods out of his Amex is worth the price to mitigate the shittiness of his existence. We'll see how much idiot drop$ on us. This should be fun. I'm feeling 'spendy'.
Read up about the idiot by clicking on the idiot.
What a glutton for punishment. Nicole and I scared his fat ass away before. We told him he will pay for running for the exit sign last time. We are meeting with the idiot Friday early evening-ish to punish his soul and also his wallet. I think for idiot, having 2 pretty dominant girls (lack of punctuational pun intended) suck some goods out of his Amex is worth the price to mitigate the shittiness of his existence. We'll see how much idiot drop$ on us. This should be fun. I'm feeling 'spendy'.
Read up about the idiot by clicking on the idiot.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
fatfuckery
I saw fatfuck for a session of ballkickery and cocksuckery the day before Thanksgiving. fatfuck was in a pissy mood as he hates holidays, any holidays. I fed him a big fat 8" juicy drumstick courtesy of my bi work buddy Adam. Then I made fatfuck give me extra $ for black friday XXXmas shopping. He peeled out a few extra hundred then I kicked him in the balls, because he didn't seem happy to give me the shopping $$$. Since there is no way I will go out shopping on black friday, I shopped online and ordered a GPS, a few new pairs of earrings, make-up from MAC cosmetics and some clothes from Urban Outfitters. It was just another fatfuck Wednesday: walking on him like a rug, spitting on his fugly walrus-ian face, yelling at him in faux Yiddish, stomping on his peenie and balls as if they were turkey gizzards.
I saw fatfuck for a session of ballkickery and cocksuckery the day before Thanksgiving. fatfuck was in a pissy mood as he hates holidays, any holidays. I fed him a big fat 8" juicy drumstick courtesy of my bi work buddy Adam. Then I made fatfuck give me extra $ for black friday XXXmas shopping. He peeled out a few extra hundred then I kicked him in the balls, because he didn't seem happy to give me the shopping $$$. Since there is no way I will go out shopping on black friday, I shopped online and ordered a GPS, a few new pairs of earrings, make-up from MAC cosmetics and some clothes from Urban Outfitters. It was just another fatfuck Wednesday: walking on him like a rug, spitting on his fugly walrus-ian face, yelling at him in faux Yiddish, stomping on his peenie and balls as if they were turkey gizzards.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Hell hath no fury....
Jesse has re-entered the picture. The Big Cock Picture. He apparently broke up with his twat-piece and is now sniffing about for pussy. Nicole doubts he has really broken up with twat, because she claims, men often line up the pussy before they do the break-up thing. Once the pussy is lined up, they bounce. Nicole said: "You aren't going to fuck him are you??? Are you???" "Don't take his ass back", said Taylor. Ember was like, "Well he is hottt!".
Truth is I really would like to have a larger bullpen for when I need the dick. But I don't think I should make it so easy for him to have my pussy again. I plan to cuckold him. Use him. Since he doesn't have anything going on financially, he only runs a landscape crew, I can't financially abuse him. But there might be other things.... Trouble is, he's not submissive. But I am manipulative and conniving enough to make him pay for taking me out of rotation earlier this year when he started 'dating' twat.
Jesse has re-entered the picture. The Big Cock Picture. He apparently broke up with his twat-piece and is now sniffing about for pussy. Nicole doubts he has really broken up with twat, because she claims, men often line up the pussy before they do the break-up thing. Once the pussy is lined up, they bounce. Nicole said: "You aren't going to fuck him are you??? Are you???" "Don't take his ass back", said Taylor. Ember was like, "Well he is hottt!".
Truth is I really would like to have a larger bullpen for when I need the dick. But I don't think I should make it so easy for him to have my pussy again. I plan to cuckold him. Use him. Since he doesn't have anything going on financially, he only runs a landscape crew, I can't financially abuse him. But there might be other things.... Trouble is, he's not submissive. But I am manipulative and conniving enough to make him pay for taking me out of rotation earlier this year when he started 'dating' twat.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
MyFlirtStore
Being an elite Niteflirt bitch, I have been chosen to sell my wares on the site MyFlirtStore. I plan to have all of my PTV assignments, picture packs and other goodies up shortly, and shortly in Florida time, is about a month or so.... But I have a few choice gay PTV assignments up already, so get your click on!
Being an elite Niteflirt bitch, I have been chosen to sell my wares on the site MyFlirtStore. I plan to have all of my PTV assignments, picture packs and other goodies up shortly, and shortly in Florida time, is about a month or so.... But I have a few choice gay PTV assignments up already, so get your click on!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Definately Dominate!*
an interesting missive from one of my devotees....
Obviously, you understand these matters far more clearly than I, given your vantage point. Some of what you say is apparent to me, of course. That most "submissive" men are so in relation only to an ongoing masturbatory fantasy is clear, and that the submissiveness is ephemeral and vanishes with the orgasm is shown by the number who bounce from woman to woman on NF ostensibly looking for that woman who is the paradigm of the "definately dominate"* Mistress, "submitting" to each but submitting to none. (I share your grammatical pain while reading listings).
It does come as a surprise to me that you find so few authentically submissive men in real time, those addressing a long standing need rather than a fantasy. In fact, it makes me feel a little lonesome. Easier to deal with the thing if one doesn't feel so unusual, I guess.
I can well imagine that NF is good to you. A gold coin in a box full of other gold coins isn't especially noticeable, but if the box is full of pennies and lead slugs, it is stands out unmistakably. Your intelligence and sophistication stand out in pretty high relief in that venue. Thanks again for the gift of your time and attention. I'm envious of subs in Miami ;->
backstory: my devotee found a listing on Niteflirt where the Mistress stated she was "definately dominate"....as many of you know I have a major pet peeve about the usage of dominant vs. dominate!
an interesting missive from one of my devotees....
Obviously, you understand these matters far more clearly than I, given your vantage point. Some of what you say is apparent to me, of course. That most "submissive" men are so in relation only to an ongoing masturbatory fantasy is clear, and that the submissiveness is ephemeral and vanishes with the orgasm is shown by the number who bounce from woman to woman on NF ostensibly looking for that woman who is the paradigm of the "definately dominate"* Mistress, "submitting" to each but submitting to none. (I share your grammatical pain while reading listings).
It does come as a surprise to me that you find so few authentically submissive men in real time, those addressing a long standing need rather than a fantasy. In fact, it makes me feel a little lonesome. Easier to deal with the thing if one doesn't feel so unusual, I guess.
I can well imagine that NF is good to you. A gold coin in a box full of other gold coins isn't especially noticeable, but if the box is full of pennies and lead slugs, it is stands out unmistakably. Your intelligence and sophistication stand out in pretty high relief in that venue. Thanks again for the gift of your time and attention. I'm envious of subs in Miami ;->
backstory: my devotee found a listing on Niteflirt where the Mistress stated she was "definately dominate"....as many of you know I have a major pet peeve about the usage of dominant vs. dominate!
Monday, October 13, 2008
A slave josephine Sighting
Nicole spotted slave josephine in the condo parking lot with his nerdette girlfriend. Nicole almost spontaneously combusted. slave josephine dumped Goddess Nicole after 2 years of servitude to date a nerdy girl who is about 15 years younger than the slaveboy. Nicole said nerdgirl was no competition for her fierce beauty, but I reminded Nicole, it obviously wasn't beauty the nerd slaveboy craved. I still can't believe he left me! she cried.
Life post-slaveboy.... Nicole has no one to clean her condo or do her laundry or her errands. Goddess forbid, she must do these things herself until she finds another hapless slave. Why is it so hard to find a slave, she moans. It's not only hard to find one, it's harder to keep one, I think to myself.... Slaves are fickle these days, loyalty is out of fashion. You want loyalty, get a dog! Which is what Nicole did, she adopted a little Shitzoo (shihtzu I know how to spell it), but in this case, shit-zoo is more appropriate.
Read Comments (click below), here is my response: Nicole truthfully doesn't try that hard to recruit slaves. When you're beautiful, you think men should just fall at your feet and scurry about to please you. And if per chance, you trap a slaveboy, your attitude? That you don't have to do much to keep him enthralled. I suffer from this same fault. But Nicole and I don't live in Missoula, we live in Miami, where we are not the rarity, we are the majority. There are throngs of beautiful girls down here tripping over each other to get to the whales (the fat wallets), the BWM's (betas with money). Nicole will probably be pissed that I declared: "doesn't try hard". And she will probably not talk to me or text me for a few days.... Oh well, I must be prepared for the dreaded "silent treatment"!
Nicole spotted slave josephine in the condo parking lot with his nerdette girlfriend. Nicole almost spontaneously combusted. slave josephine dumped Goddess Nicole after 2 years of servitude to date a nerdy girl who is about 15 years younger than the slaveboy. Nicole said nerdgirl was no competition for her fierce beauty, but I reminded Nicole, it obviously wasn't beauty the nerd slaveboy craved. I still can't believe he left me! she cried.
Life post-slaveboy.... Nicole has no one to clean her condo or do her laundry or her errands. Goddess forbid, she must do these things herself until she finds another hapless slave. Why is it so hard to find a slave, she moans. It's not only hard to find one, it's harder to keep one, I think to myself.... Slaves are fickle these days, loyalty is out of fashion. You want loyalty, get a dog! Which is what Nicole did, she adopted a little Shitzoo (shihtzu I know how to spell it), but in this case, shit-zoo is more appropriate.
Read Comments (click below), here is my response: Nicole truthfully doesn't try that hard to recruit slaves. When you're beautiful, you think men should just fall at your feet and scurry about to please you. And if per chance, you trap a slaveboy, your attitude? That you don't have to do much to keep him enthralled. I suffer from this same fault. But Nicole and I don't live in Missoula, we live in Miami, where we are not the rarity, we are the majority. There are throngs of beautiful girls down here tripping over each other to get to the whales (the fat wallets), the BWM's (betas with money). Nicole will probably be pissed that I declared: "doesn't try hard". And she will probably not talk to me or text me for a few days.... Oh well, I must be prepared for the dreaded "silent treatment"!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
donde estan las turistas?
Miami on the Cheap
The economy in SoFlo is ultra-dependent on the tourism and travel trade. When that slips, which it does in the low season (hurricane season), but even more so due to the economy, everyone suffers. Nicole has been bitching about lack of action at the club, and lack of tips. There is a notable lack of action at all the clubs, though bars seem busy. Perhaps clubs need to rethink their strategy: pricey door charges, pricey bottles of vodka, pricey drinks are probably driving people to drink. Elsewhere.
Still, when articles like Miami on a Budget come out, it makes me cringe! Miami needs a major injection of tourists now. But it needs tourists who will spend, not scrimp.
Miami has allure: the beaches, the clubs, the restaurants, but it doesn't have the lure. The lure of the roulette wheel, the craps table, the slots. Miami lacks what Vegas has in spades, literally. There is only one major casino in SoFlo. Vegas casinos are suffering, but the sin city casino hotels are comping rooms and meals to get the warmbodies into the casinos. So the Vegas casino revenues are only off by 7% in the latest article I read. But Miami tourism and travel revenues have plummeted even further.
VACATIONING IN MIAMI ON A BUDGET
MIAMI - It might be notorious for its late-night party scene, swanky beach hotels with steeply priced drinks and the beachgoers who wear barely-there $300 swimsuits, but vacationing Miami-style doesn't have to cost a fortune.
From $3 beers to staying at a hostel for $34 a night to $7 bike rides along the Florida Everglades, visitors looking for deals have lots of options in the area.
LODGING: If you're adventurous and on a tight budget, consider staying in a hostel. Rooms can house anywhere between three and 14 travelers, sleeping on bunk beds, from $18 a night per person to about $40, depending on season and room size. Hostels in Miami Beach include Tropics Hotel & Hostel, 1550 Collins Ave., http://www.tropicshotel.com, Jazz on South Beach Hostel, 321 Collins Ave., http://www.jazzhostels.com/ and South Beach Hostel, 235 Washington Ave., http://www.thesouthbeachhostel.com.
MIAMI BEACH: The Lincoln Road pedestrian mall is perfect for strolls and people-watching. You'll find dozens of restaurants and shops, along with locals walking dogs or weaving through the crowds on roller blades.
At 625 Lincoln Road is a hidden gem popular with the locals. Snuggled between two stores is the narrow, tiny bar called Zeke's Roadhouse, which boasts over 80 bottled beers and drafts from around the world — each just $3. No hard alcohol is sold here, and no outside food or drinks are allowed on the premises. Keep your ID handy since bartenders check it with each purchase. No ID, no beer.
If you prefer to spend your time on the sand, the beach is walking distance (and free, unless you rent the pricey beach chairs). On your stroll, check out the Art Deco architecture and ritzy hotels. Or snap some pictures at the Casa Casuarina mansion where fashion designer Gianni Versace once lived, now a luxury hotel and private club at 1116 Ocean Drive.
A drink at a trendy hotel bar on the beach — the Delano, Setai, Shore Club, Gansevoort — can cost up to $15, but you might just run into a celebrity. Owen Wilson was spotted at the Delano while filming "Marley & Me" with Jennifer Aniston. She reportedly spent time at the Mandarin Oriental.
Many restaurants in South Beach and other touristy areas automatically add a tip (usually 15-18 percent) to the bill.
ART: The Miami Art Museum — 101 W. Flagler St., http://www.miamiartmuseum.org/ — has a unique collection of different cultural traditions of South Florida. Adults pay $8, seniors $4, free for children under 12 and students with ID; free to all on the second Saturday of each month. Also on second Saturdays, local galleries and studios in the Wynwood Art District offer free wine (or beer) on a gallery walk, 7-10 p.m. The Wynwood galleries are open other days as well.
A short cab ride away, in the heart of Miami about a mile from downtown, is Vizcaya Museum & Gardens — 3251 S. Miami Ave., http://www.vizcayamuseum.com/ — built by agricultural industrialist James Deering in 1916. The landmark property includes a main house filled with treasures from around the world, a walkway lined with fountains and foliage, 10 acres of formal gardens and a hardwood hammock overlooking Biscayne Bay. Admission for adults is $12; children 6-12, $5; ages 5 and younger free.
Not far, in the Miami suburb of Coral Gables, is the Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden — 10901 Old Cutler Road, http://www.fairchildgarden.org/ — with an extensive collection of rare tropical plants. Stop by its verandah restaurant or garden cafe, or spend the afternoon drinking tea here. Adults pay $20; seniors $15; children 6-17, $10. Admission is pay as you wish on the first Wednesday of each month (next two, Nov. 5 and Dec. 3).
ENTERTAINMENT AND FOOD: Transit Lounge in the downtown area — 729 SW First Ave., http://www.transitlounge.us — hosts several local bands during the week that play Latin and funk music. A drink is around $6; open late (5 a.m.). If you get tired of dancing, sit along the walls adorned with paintings done by local artists and play that favorite game from childhood, Connect Four.
Calle Ocho, or Eighth Street, hosts Viernes Culturales or Cultural Fridays the last Friday of every month. The art and street festival spans four blocks lined with more than a dozen galleries, restaurants blasting Latin music and cigar shops — some offering free drinks and appetizers. Stages are set up for live music. Organizers say the Latin festival attracts over 10,000 people to the heart of Little Havana. Dancing and cigar smoking is encouraged.
While on Calle Ocho, don't miss the Cuban food and coffee at Little Havana's famed Versailles Restaurant, 3555 SW Eighth St., a required stop for vote-seeking politicians — including, most recently, Republican presidential contenders Rudy Giuliani and Mike Huckabee.
NATURE: The best way to see South Florida's alligator-infested waters is riding an airboat through the Everglades. Everglades Alligator Farm is about 35 miles south of Miami in Homestead, http://www.everglades.com, while Everglades Safari Park is about 15 miles west on the Tamiami Trail, http://www.evsafaripark.com/. Both places offer a chance to experience Florida's river of grass up close. You can even take a picture holding a baby alligator or watch an alligator show. The adventure, airboat and all, costs about $23 for adults, $15 or less for children. Both Web sites offer printable discount coupons.
Also in Homestead, Shark Valley Tram Tours — http://www.sharkvalleytramtours.com/ — rents bikes for $6.50 an hour. A 15-mile nature trail through the northern region of Everglades National Park takes two to three hours. If you'd rather rest your feet, a two-hour guided tram ride with wildlife viewing and a stop at the Shark Valley observation tower for a panoramic view of the Everglades costs $15.25 ($9.25 for ages 3-12). (Access to Shark Valley was limited in early October due to flooding, with tram tours suspended and bike routes limited, so check on conditions before you plan a trip there.)
The fee for car entry to Everglades National Park is $10, good for seven consecutive days, or $5 per person on foot, bike or motorcycle; http://www.nps.gov/ever/.
TRANSPORTATION: Miami lacks comprehensive public transportation, but there are economical ways to get around. You can't miss the big blue Super Shuttle vans from the airport to the beach and Miami hotels, $20 plus tip. The Tri-Rail is a convenient, affordable way to navigate the region, with stops including area airports, Fort Lauderdale, Delray Beach, Boca Raton and West Palm Beach. One-way fares are $2-$5.50, all-day $4 weekend fare.
Taxis are widely available if you prefer not to rent a car. A ride from the airport to the beach can cost about $30-35.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Desperate for Chicks!
It's really really bad when you're in a band and you have no chicks hanging with you, no quasi-girlfriends, no groupies, no sluts, no 420 girls, no hottie sisters to pass off as hotties not related to you. It's so really really bad that you have to do up a massive Myspace spam campaign to hopefully gather a few chicks for your music video....
....or....
There's no real music video being taped, it's your dorko film class friend with a digital camcorder, and you're just trying desperately to meet hot chicks.
Message:
WE ARE ********** N YOU CAN FIND US HERE ON MYSPACE,
WE'RE MAKING A SERIES OF MUSIC VIDEOS FOR OUR RECENTLY
RELEASED DEBUT CD. PLEASE CHECK US OUT N LET US KNOW
IF YOU'D LIKE TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO. GIRLS ONLY N BE
HOT ENUF TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO. LIKE. PLEASE CONTACT US SOON AS POSSIBLE WE ARE SHOOTING THE FIRST VIDEO THIS SATURDAY OR SUNDAY, N PLEASE SEND PHOTOS IF YOUR PHOTOS ARE SET TO PRIVATE. THANKS N SPANKS!!!
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