NO! Nicole, Taylor and I are not raking it in from the Super Bowl

Yes, it's generally busier and everyone is glad to see people here instead of tumbleweed blowing in the streets. But other than hotels being full, while the sports fans are renowned for being drinkers, they aren't known for being tippers. Nicole is bitching the most and has been bitching for a while, because the club she works at, when the economy took a dive, hired more girls to bring in more patrons, this meant that girls were literally cat-fighting for every dollar. And now the club has imported talent from other hotspots just for the Superbowl, so the claws will really be out! So busier, yes! Raking it in, no....Super Bowl Economics

It's in his Kiss....

and no it wasn't me, Nicole, Ember, Taylor, Jenn or Jessica....

but French pro tennis player, Richard Gasquet, insists that a kiss from a mystery woman known only as 'Pamela' who he met and fooled around with in a Miami niteclub during the WMC (Winter Music Conference) left him with cocaine residue in his boca that caused him to test positive for blow. The Winter Music Conference is when heavy-duty DJ's spin at all the popular clubs, everyone dances and gets a little wild. But somehow I doubt that enough coke grains, as his lawyer claims, were passed when they swapped spit. Com'n it goes up your nose and you might rub a little of the 'crumbs into your gums' as the saying goes. Still, an independent tribunal believed his claim and lifted the 2 1/2 month ban that had been imposed on him.

Story Here

Photo: Richard getting his dance on

Buzzzz

Parties are in, bottle hostesses are out? The economy is to blame, my quasi-boss laments, but it's not all doom and gloom....

People want to escape, people want to go to a party! So clubs are throwing more parties, promoting more of a party atmosphere. Model-esque bottle hostesses are disappearing, and the point is? That was my old job. But at least there are other ways to sling drinks besides overcharging for a bottle of Grey Goose and set-ups.

Click for the story from the NY Times. Truly the authority on the Miami Club Scene duh huh?

Miami Club Buzz

BTW, club Louis is where Shamwow Vince picked up the blonde naughty hottie who he later SlapChopped.

Superbowl Report

I ended up working the Superbowl Party at the club. I got lasso'd in. Ugh. Bunch of drunks. I was glad that the Superbowl was in Tampa this year, still there was an overdose of parties and promotions all trying to capture drink dollars on this coast. I didn't end up making that much in tips. Usually, the sports crowds aren't big on tipping and tonite was no exception. Luckily, I told the boss I wanted a minimum to come in to make it worth my time, otherwise I could have just stayed at my place and taken Niteflirt calls from foreign lands.

Nicole hates the Superbowl, she's still working her club's Superbowl party, and I'm wondering how much she'll end up with by the end of the nite. I left a message for her to text me her $$$. But she won't be done lap grinding till very very very late.

In other news, I met Danny for coffee again before I went in to work, and he was off to a Superbowl party. He wants to do dinner next. He says I am very elusive. Fancy word for playing him....

Law of the Jungle

Well there are a few of you who have inquired about whether I hooked up with the anesthesiologist's brother. His name is Danny and we haven't connected any of our moving parts yet. I met him for espresso at Segafredo's on Saturday. He had a date booked for later on Saturday nite. He was cute and I was horny, so I secretly wanted him to break the damn date and hang with me, but I didn't want to break my new rule of not making a man work for or pay for pussy. He suggested we hook up on Sunday, but I had a pool whoring afternoon set up with the girls and had to be up early for work on Monday, earlier than usual, so I told him we'd have to hook it up another time.

Really, you have to make men work for it, if they don't work for it, they don't appreciate it when they finally get it. So I'll keep Dan 'working' this week.... And I'll keep my vibrator in action in the meantime.

Nicole: I can't believe he didn't go with you

Sara: I think he was being honorable, I mean what if you were the girl who was booked for the big date on Saturday nite and he stood you up, you would have to know that you were tossed for someone hotter

Nicole: Yeah but it's the law of the jungle, someone hotter is always waiting to take your spot

hmmm when Nicole said that I could only think of Lori!!!!

Miami Pool Whores

When biz is bouncin', there are plenty of out-of-town pool whores to go around and decorate the hotel pools. But biz isn't bouncin', and many of the hotel pool scenes are abysmal. This doesn't bode well to attract or retain the male guests and their cash.

So enter the local talent pool of pool whores! The word has spread. Miami hotels need pool whores. Whereas a lovely lass might have expected to pay a nominal fee to use a hotel pool for the day under normal circumstances, the fees have been waived, the towel fees have been waived, but alas no free drinks yet. Well, not that Nicole or Jenn or Ember or Taylor or I have ever had to pay for poolside drinks yet hehehe as our drinks have always been 'bought'.

So we are doing our good deed for Miami tourism by pool whoring. But with a more evil purpose. To fish for slaves. No luck with fishing yet, but the pool whoring season isn't over.

donde estan las turistas?
Miami on the Cheap

The economy in SoFlo is ultra-dependent on the tourism and travel trade. When that slips, which it does in the low season (hurricane season), but even more so due to the economy, everyone suffers. Nicole has been bitching about lack of action at the club, and lack of tips. There is a notable lack of action at all the clubs, though bars seem busy. Perhaps clubs need to rethink their strategy: pricey door charges, pricey bottles of vodka, pricey drinks are probably driving people to drink. Elsewhere.


donde estan los ricos?
Still, when articles like Miami on a Budget come out, it makes me cringe! Miami needs a major injection of tourists now. But it needs tourists who will spend, not scrimp.

Miami has allure: the beaches, the clubs, the restaurants, but it doesn't have the lure. The lure of the roulette wheel, the craps table, the slots. Miami lacks what Vegas has in spades, literally. There is only one major casino in SoFlo. Vegas casinos are suffering, but the sin city casino hotels are comping rooms and meals to get the warmbodies into the casinos. So the Vegas casino revenues are only off by 7% in the latest article I read. But Miami tourism and travel revenues have plummeted even further.

VACATIONING IN MIAMI ON A BUDGET

MIAMI - It might be notorious for its late-night party scene, swanky beach hotels with steeply priced drinks and the beachgoers who wear barely-there $300 swimsuits, but vacationing Miami-style doesn't have to cost a fortune.

From $3 beers to staying at a hostel for $34 a night to $7 bike rides along the Florida Everglades, visitors looking for deals have lots of options in the area.

LODGING: If you're adventurous and on a tight budget, consider staying in a hostel. Rooms can house anywhere between three and 14 travelers, sleeping on bunk beds, from $18 a night per person to about $40, depending on season and room size. Hostels in Miami Beach include Tropics Hotel & Hostel, 1550 Collins Ave., http://www.tropicshotel.com, Jazz on South Beach Hostel, 321 Collins Ave., http://www.jazzhostels.com/ and South Beach Hostel, 235 Washington Ave., http://www.thesouthbeachhostel.com.

MIAMI BEACH: The Lincoln Road pedestrian mall is perfect for strolls and people-watching. You'll find dozens of restaurants and shops, along with locals walking dogs or weaving through the crowds on roller blades.

At 625 Lincoln Road is a hidden gem popular with the locals. Snuggled between two stores is the narrow, tiny bar called Zeke's Roadhouse, which boasts over 80 bottled beers and drafts from around the world — each just $3. No hard alcohol is sold here, and no outside food or drinks are allowed on the premises. Keep your ID handy since bartenders check it with each purchase. No ID, no beer.

If you prefer to spend your time on the sand, the beach is walking distance (and free, unless you rent the pricey beach chairs). On your stroll, check out the Art Deco architecture and ritzy hotels. Or snap some pictures at the Casa Casuarina mansion where fashion designer Gianni Versace once lived, now a luxury hotel and private club at 1116 Ocean Drive.

A drink at a trendy hotel bar on the beach — the Delano, Setai, Shore Club, Gansevoort — can cost up to $15, but you might just run into a celebrity. Owen Wilson was spotted at the Delano while filming "Marley & Me" with Jennifer Aniston. She reportedly spent time at the Mandarin Oriental.

Many restaurants in South Beach and other touristy areas automatically add a tip (usually 15-18 percent) to the bill.

ART: The Miami Art Museum — 101 W. Flagler St., http://www.miamiartmuseum.org/ — has a unique collection of different cultural traditions of South Florida. Adults pay $8, seniors $4, free for children under 12 and students with ID; free to all on the second Saturday of each month. Also on second Saturdays, local galleries and studios in the Wynwood Art District offer free wine (or beer) on a gallery walk, 7-10 p.m. The Wynwood galleries are open other days as well.

A short cab ride away, in the heart of Miami about a mile from downtown, is Vizcaya Museum & Gardens — 3251 S. Miami Ave., http://www.vizcayamuseum.com/ — built by agricultural industrialist James Deering in 1916. The landmark property includes a main house filled with treasures from around the world, a walkway lined with fountains and foliage, 10 acres of formal gardens and a hardwood hammock overlooking Biscayne Bay. Admission for adults is $12; children 6-12, $5; ages 5 and younger free.

Not far, in the Miami suburb of Coral Gables, is the Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden — 10901 Old Cutler Road, http://www.fairchildgarden.org/ — with an extensive collection of rare tropical plants. Stop by its verandah restaurant or garden cafe, or spend the afternoon drinking tea here. Adults pay $20; seniors $15; children 6-17, $10. Admission is pay as you wish on the first Wednesday of each month (next two, Nov. 5 and Dec. 3).

ENTERTAINMENT AND FOOD: Transit Lounge in the downtown area — 729 SW First Ave., http://www.transitlounge.us — hosts several local bands during the week that play Latin and funk music. A drink is around $6; open late (5 a.m.). If you get tired of dancing, sit along the walls adorned with paintings done by local artists and play that favorite game from childhood, Connect Four.

Calle Ocho, or Eighth Street, hosts Viernes Culturales or Cultural Fridays the last Friday of every month. The art and street festival spans four blocks lined with more than a dozen galleries, restaurants blasting Latin music and cigar shops — some offering free drinks and appetizers. Stages are set up for live music. Organizers say the Latin festival attracts over 10,000 people to the heart of Little Havana. Dancing and cigar smoking is encouraged.

While on Calle Ocho, don't miss the Cuban food and coffee at Little Havana's famed Versailles Restaurant, 3555 SW Eighth St., a required stop for vote-seeking politicians — including, most recently, Republican presidential contenders Rudy Giuliani and Mike Huckabee.

NATURE: The best way to see South Florida's alligator-infested waters is riding an airboat through the Everglades. Everglades Alligator Farm is about 35 miles south of Miami in Homestead, http://www.everglades.com, while Everglades Safari Park is about 15 miles west on the Tamiami Trail, http://www.evsafaripark.com/. Both places offer a chance to experience Florida's river of grass up close. You can even take a picture holding a baby alligator or watch an alligator show. The adventure, airboat and all, costs about $23 for adults, $15 or less for children. Both Web sites offer printable discount coupons.

Also in Homestead, Shark Valley Tram Tours — http://www.sharkvalleytramtours.com/ — rents bikes for $6.50 an hour. A 15-mile nature trail through the northern region of Everglades National Park takes two to three hours. If you'd rather rest your feet, a two-hour guided tram ride with wildlife viewing and a stop at the Shark Valley observation tower for a panoramic view of the Everglades costs $15.25 ($9.25 for ages 3-12). (Access to Shark Valley was limited in early October due to flooding, with tram tours suspended and bike routes limited, so check on conditions before you plan a trip there.)

The fee for car entry to Everglades National Park is $10, good for seven consecutive days, or $5 per person on foot, bike or motorcycle; http://www.nps.gov/ever/.

TRANSPORTATION: Miami lacks comprehensive public transportation, but there are economical ways to get around. You can't miss the big blue Super Shuttle vans from the airport to the beach and Miami hotels, $20 plus tip. The Tri-Rail is a convenient, affordable way to navigate the region, with stops including area airports, Fort Lauderdale, Delray Beach, Boca Raton and West Palm Beach. One-way fares are $2-$5.50, all-day $4 weekend fare.

Taxis are widely available if you prefer not to rent a car. A ride from the airport to the beach can cost about $30-35.

StormDar

I missed my rendez-vous with my main slave this past week due to Hurricane Fay, even though Fay was kinder to SoFlo than NorFlor. And something tells me, perhaps it's my StormDar, that this isn't the last hurricane we shall see this season.

Struggling with Spanish

This isn't my grandmother's Miami any more. It happens to me when I'm walking down the street, someone will ask me a question or make a comment, usually about the weather. The only catch, they speak Spanish to me. Days and nights can go by and the only language I hear when I'm out and about is Spanish. My long dark hair = Latina = speaks Spanish. I speak a little Spanish, enough to get by. Enough to talk about the weather or buy stuff at stores and cafes. It happens to Taylor, who is a mezcla, a mix of white and Latino ethnicities, but she speaks as little Spanish as I do, her parents thought it was more important for her to know English, only English, little did they know, 25 years later, they would have made a blunder as to which the predominant language would be in SoFlo.

I could get more session work in my deemed profession if I spoke better Espanol. I am going to get the Rosetta Stone CDs or just do more immersion, learn more things to say about the weather....

From a recent news article:

This situation, so pleasing to Latin American immigrants, makes some English speakers feel marginalized. In the 1950s, it's estimated that more than 80 percent of Miami-Dade County residents were non-Hispanic whites. But in 2006, the Census Bureau estimates that number was only 18.5 percent, and in 2015 it is forecast to be 14 percent. Hispanics now make up about 60 percent.

"The Anglo population is leaving," said Juan Clark, a sociology professor at Miami Dade College. "One of the reactions is to emigrate toward the north. They resent the fact that (an American) has to learn Spanish in order to have advantages to work. If one doesn't speak Spanish, it's a disadvantage."


According to the Census, 58.5 percent of the county's 2.4 million residents speak Spanish - and half of those say they don't speak English well. English-only speakers make up 27.2 percent of the county's residents.

In the mainly Cuban city of Hialeah and in the Miami neighborhood of Little Havana, 94 percent of residents identified themselves as Hispanic.

Andrew Lynch, an expert on linguistics and bilingualism at the University of Miami, said that the presence of Spanish-speakers first became an issue in Miami-Dade County in the 1960s and '70s with the arrival of Cuban immigrants and intensified in the '80s with immigrants from not just Cuba, but Argentina, Venezuela and elsewhere in Latin America. The exodus of English speakers soon followed.