Fanmail

Dear Sara

I put your March wallpaper on my computer. I worship you!!!! And I saved the picture of Nicole and Jessica on St. Patrick's Day and uploaded it to my cell phone. I feel it has a special meaning and message to me as I have a super small dick. That picture keeps me in my place. It reminds me what pretty girls think of a loser like me. Thank you for doing what you do on Niteflirt and for keeping up such great blogs on the same subjects.

slave irving

Nice Femurs

My girlfriends and I all have ads on various websites trolling for either slaves or sugar daddies. It's like the next thing you do after setting up your Myspace and Facebook. Recently, I had an inquiry from a guy named John from Denver. So for the sake of simplicity, I shall call him John Denver.

Well, John Denver wanted me to spend a week with him where I would just basically whip his ass for being worthless. It seems that he inherited lots of family funds and assets including cattle ranches, but felt that he didn't deserve them. He claimed to be 40 (I suspected he was older), never married, and the only expectation his family now had of him, was to produce an heir. Is this beginning to sound like The Tudors on HBO?

So I chatted with John via email, IM and finally Niteflirt. I should mention he had sent me quite a few Amazon gift certs to cover my time and capture my attention. He wanted to set up a week of torture and delight somewhere in the Caribbean, my choice and my price. I figured, to vet him and see if he really did have the cash that he claimed to have, that our rendez-vous should be on the island of Mustique. Mustique is a private island, only accessible to the extremely wealthy. When I advised him of my choice, he said, no problem, his travel agent would make the arrangements.

What is the old adage, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is? There was another story running concurrent to my John Denver story. It would seem that John Denver was also romancing one of my friends. But since she was looking for a sugar daddy and not a slave, the context of what he was asking of her was completely different. Being an attention whore, she spent countless hours chatting with him on the phone while he serenaded her with cowboy songs strumming his ole gee-tar. She was hoping to extract some money from him, in a more traditional sugar daddy sense, because she is blonde and hot and entitled. Little did we know we were talking to the same guy. I told her this guy John from Denver wanted to take me to Mustique. She said this guy John from Denver wanted to be her Sugar Daddy! But then things got weird, because he confessed what he really wanted was to become a Daddy, for her to produce a baby, was willing to pay a large sum of $$$ but she would have to give the baby up to him and a nanny to raise!!! Of course she freaked out, who wouldn't.

So I knew it was time to cut off John Denver. A few weeks after I told him to 'vamoose', he sent an email, which I shall share with you:

Sara too bad we didnt connect I had a lot goin on u still get me I look at yr pictures all the time maybe u will change yr mind??? nice femurs. I keep looking cant find another like u, I'll pay more??? John

"Nice femurs" WTF!!! I felt like I had been turned into some breeder who had superior genes with whom he would want to mate his prize livestock. Do they judge cattle based on femurs? Ewwww. It literally made me ill. What would have happened to me in Mustique? Would I have gone there thinking I'll be kicking his balls and using him as a spittoon for a week, but instead I would have been drugged with GHB and kept imprisoned till impregnated?

Perhaps I am exaggerating, but perhaps not. There are very, very strange men on the internet with very, very strange agendas. How to stay safe? Remain in my high rise apartment castle and only let down my hair to the right Prince?

St. Patty's Day

Tonite I am supposed to have a dining experience with my girlfriends. It's St. Patty's Day, and since Nicole has to swing around a pole in a green g-string later, dinner was all we could manage to pull together 'ensemble'. I am definitely not going to be eating any Irish cuisine. "The Irish don't have cuisine!" my Mother used to insist, when my Dad would request an Irish meal on St. Patty's. I remember the house used to stink of boiling corned beef and cabbage. My sister and I couldn't even muster the will to eat the dredgings and it was one of the only times my Mother didn't force us to finish what was on our plates. And thankfully, my Mother never saved any of the St. Patty's fare for leftovers either. The only good part of the Green Isle's holiday fare was the dessert, my Mother used to make key lime pie, I know how un-Irish, but she doused it with green food coloring.

Terry from the club begged me to work tonite, but I'm just not in the mood to put up with drunks who don't tip, notorious on nites like Mardi Gras, St. Patty's, Cinco de Mayo, etc.

So I'll eat a salad, 'greens' after all, and maybe do a shot or two or something, Bailey's??? And I have to call my Dad and wish him Happy St. Patty's. He'll be on the green, literally, golfing that is.

As as for Nicole, hopefully, she will have better luck with the drunks and rake in 'the green'!

I couldn't find a pic of me wearing anything green, but I did find a pic of Nicole and Jessica from a St. Patty's Day past. I wonder if Nicole is going to wear those tacky 'cat-toy' earrings again tonite! Sara

Nicole's Poolboy

Well she met him at the pool, so we're calling him the poolboy. The poolboy came into town for the Miami Food & Wine Festival and travels into Miami frequently for biz. Nicole is amped that she snagged the poolboy when poolwhoring with stripper girls from work. So Nicole scored while her pole-mates struck out.

Poolboy had to go to the club later that nite and slide Nicole lots of greenbacks. Actually, she made him pay her to give other guys lap dances. Sounds so humiliating, or maybe not, because he could watch, kinda like a porn. Poolboy is a cocksucker and Nicole borrowed Arion and Adam from me on two separate occasions so poolboy could suck some big cocks.

"Nicole, I should be getting an agent's fee or something!" I told her. She was like, "Oh com'n, I'll take us shopping!" But I should have refused giving her their digits (phone numbers) and told her "Get your own damn cocks for poolboy to suck or pay me!" This harks back to the time I wanted to borrow her former slave josephine for a photo shoot and she told me "Get your own damn slave!" Because I don't need to go shopping with Nicole for new purses, sunglasses, bikinis or heels right now. I need the ca$h not the stash.