GAYPRIL's Losers of the Month!


I am calling these Losers 'Wayne and Garth', I mean check it. I'm not even sure which of the dos fagitos emailed me, but fagito email went like this:

urr hott, my msn id is xxxxxx IM me baby I want to lick urr pussy...

one of these fagitos think this pic is hott enuf 2 get me wett enuf 2 IM him???? I mean please superfags, cybersex went out like 10 years ago, sexting messages are in now. Get with the times fagitos! Better yet, lick each other's hairy parts, cuz I don't sext with fags. You, as in both of you nameless fags, are Gaypril's Losers of the Month!!! PS Garth -- gunfingers are gay....

March Biggest Loser of the Month: Brian le Boob


Dear Sara

I hope you will make me the loser of the month. I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years. The last girlfriend I had convinced me to pay for her plastic surgery. Idiot (me) paid for her to get a 'boob job'. As soon as she got that, she broke up with me. She only had sex with me twice and also made me take her shopping, that was basically how we 'dated'. We went shopping, I bought her things, then we went out to dinner. Then she would get some cash out of me, so she could go out with her 'friends'. And she took things out of my house, if she liked something: a framed print, an espresso machine, an oriental rug, those things and more all went to her apartment. Then this pretty married woman at work, she was going through a divorce, I lent her money to help her out, thousands over 6 months. She left the company, and moved out of the area after the divorce was finalized. I thought we would start dating as soon as she divorced, at least that's what she led me to believe. I'm so pathetic, a real idiot. Please punish me by making me the loser of the month I beg of you.

Brian

Consider it done! Sara

Yes-sir Assfat

This month's Biggest Loser goes to........drumroll.......the person who took this picture! I mean, dude, you are as pathetic as the person who took Stinkbob's picture! OK maybe a little less pathetic that the person who took Stinkbob's picture. This picture and pathetic-ness was submitted by newly nicknamed Yes-sir Assfat who was trying to compete for July's Biggest Loser, but he is such a loser, he couldn't even get his picture and paragraph of shame submitted in time. So now he is August's Biggest Loser. And you may want to ask, in addition to this vision of loveliness, why is he the Biggest Loser this month?

Dear Sara, can I be July's biggest loser. I don't call you very much. I only call when I'm drunk. Bad habit to call phone sex when I'm drunk. Drunk dialing can be expensive. Sometimes I call your recordings. I feel how powerful you are.

I like to wear thongs. They stretch to fit. It's harder for me to wear panties. It makes my little peewee hard. When I'm not drunk. When I'm drunk I get horny, but then my peewee turns into a clit.

The only girls I can get are fat girls. Fat girls at the bar. But I can't really sex them because my little peewee can't get thru all the fat. So I use toys on them and my tongue. I don't know if I'll ever get to have sex again.

Yes-sir is also the biggest loser of the month because his thong label is turned out! And he's wear Timberlands with a thong? That is such a fashion no-no.

Spurtnik

Biggest Loser of the Month!

This scanned pic is old, granted. The loser even admitted it dates back to the Mesolithic age of computers, mid-80's. He was young, and well, what a stud! The hair, the 'stache, the glasses, the edgy pose with the cigarette. His rig, check it, his rig was impressive, what is that an old 286? When that photo was taken, most likely in his paneled basement, make that his Mom's paneled basement, it was state-of-the-art, hard to imagine!

I guess he doesn't want us to see the fatter, middle-aged version of himself, or the new rig he uses to surf for porn, or give away the secret that he may still be living at home, and jerkin' it to his flatscreen monitor, in Mom's paneled basement.

Calling All Losers!

Where are the losers when you need them the most?

You might have noticed I haven't posted a July loser yet. That is because I have not received a photo and loser confession loserly enough to post. Pathetic! Are all you losers on vacation? Do I have to resort to re-posting the Stinkbob photo and an update on the celebrity loser I have created? A few of my NF fans have asked me to set up a Stinkbob t-shirt on cafepress.com and they will buy it! Another wants me to set up a Stinkbob Fan Club and feature Stinkbob merch 4sale. Vom!!!

So. Losers. That. Means. You.

Send me your loser photos and confessions. I need to pick me a winner hehe.

JUNE'S BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH

You had thought I had forgotten the June Loser? Still, this nerd is no competition for the fierce Stinkbob. SerfNerd reports that hasn't had a girlfriend in a while, not even a girl nerd. He spends all of his free time playing video games, living in secondlife.com (he wouldn't show me his avatar, although I'm sure it's manly, unlike the nerd) and of course he surfs online for porn. I can't even turn him totally gay right now because no sane or sober man would let SerfNerd suck his dick with that tangle of orthodontia.

MAY'S BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH!!!

Slut Tamara!

Slut 'Tamara' is growing his hair long so he can become a real gay sissyslut. He already sucks cock at the gloryhole. But, he wouldn't let me post a pic of him dressed up like a Barbie. Make that a low rent truckstop hooker Barbie. He's not really passable, just freaky looking, but that would have been a more fun pic to look at than the boring pic which Tamara sent me of the slut hard at work, doing lard-knows-what.

Tamara is a faithful caller and also a faithful blog reader. He keeps promising a confession for my blog and hasn't cum thru yet. Tamara, this is a reminder for that sissy confession! I shouldn't have to work so hard cumming up with blog material, especially around finals.

Tamara has given up dating girls, but would like girlfriends to hang out with and do girlie stuff, y'know like shopping. Maybe trannies, Tamara! You're too boring for real girls to hang out with. And Tamara, without your freaky pic, you don't bring down Stinkbob in our ongoing Loser of the Month competition.

UPDATE: SLUT TAMARA ASKED THAT HER PHOTO BE TAKEN DOWN. What did it make you torque your panties that your photo was on my blog. You gave me permission to post it, you worthless little twit!!! But I will take it down, because I didn't like it anyway!

APRIL'S BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH

Flower Power Bikini Faggot!!

I didn't even have to force or coerce him into wearing this flower power piece to the pool. Bikini faggot likes everyone to stare at him, and how pathetic he is. Attention whorelet! What is he doing with his towel? Is he ready to throw it in and go completely gay? Or is he finally surrendering to the forces of gay? Although bikini faggot denies this, I think that is his girlfriend or wife in the background teasing us with her lard!

BPBF is not a big spender, he calls my SPURT line, because it doesn't take long for his finger puppet to spew, ewwwwww....

MARCH'S BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH

Stinkbob!

Our March Loser of the Month award goes to (drum roll while we open the envelope) Stinkbob! Stinkbob sent me his photo and gave me permission to post it here for that extra special humiliation. It has to be one of the scariest photos I've seen.
Stinkbob only calls me for a minute or two, twice a month, because he gets a 'teentzie pension', and can't afford me. So he's a stinky slave to boot, not worth keeping, I spend more time reading his pathetic emails than I should.

The Mystery and Allure of Stinkbob!

Check out the 20 locks on his door, what is he trying to keep out, or in this case, keep in? Check out all the junk in the left of the photo, is Stinkbob one of those old hoarders? His name is Bob, but I gave him the terrifying name Stinkbob! He is so popular among my blog readers, that I have received requests to make Stinkbob t-shirts!